One of the sad things that most fathers have to contend with, is working. While it seems easy to dismiss work as something that has to be done, is it not the same for taking care of your family?
This morning when Jakjak woke up, he asked me: "Dad, did I wake up early enough to play with you?"
That is a simple sentence constructed by a five year old boy. Yet, that is an honest question from the same five year old boy. He cannot understand the reasons why his parents have to go out and work. To a toddler, it simply means that dad needs to go and work. He will not understand the complications on why it has to be done (pay the bills, pay for the groceries, buy him toys, etc.). Nor does he need to be burdened by this understanding. It's enough that he has to comprehend missing his parent/s for a period of time, I find no need to give him more to think about and letting him feel that he is responsible for making dad go to work on time. It is the truth, yes, our need to be at work. But that is the truth for thinking adults. Let us not rob our children of yet another simple joy that he might find in not knowing the complications of life at an age where they should not be thinking about them.
However, until such a time that ordinary dads like me are able to work less hours in a day, this sadness will linger about. A sadness that is inevitable, but a sadness that will pass in time as well.
I took Jakjak to school this Sunday for their Sportsfest. The last time I took him to school was a little more than a month ago. Back then, it took his homeroom teacher to pluck him out of his grip on me. This time was different. While he still clung to me like he does everytime I bring him down for his school service to pick him up, it did not take as much effort to get him to let go and go inside his classroom. In fact, minutes before the school doors opened, he was happily playing tag with his classmates. Something he did not do the last time I took him to school.
His stories about school lately also shows that he's enjoying school more now than when he first started back in January. He now has stories of what they did for class, he now sings songs he learned in school (in Chinese even!), and he always tells us how he misses his homeroom teacher quite often. Admittedly, it makes us jealous sometimes, but it's a sign at least, of progress in Jakjak's part. While he can be considered a social butterfly, he does so on his own whim and in his own sweet time. He goes social only when he wants to, not when he has to. So far, school has finally made an impact with him and he has grown up.
He has grown up in different ways, which is very good. Emotionally, he is now mature enough to his level of play with other kids. Physically, he has always been able to hold his own ground, and today, he knows how to use his strength properly. Spiritually, he is inclined to believe in God, a spiritual being that he does not completely understand but believes nonetheless. His growth in all walks of life is very much welcome. In fact, there are times that we even wonder if we are still talking to a five year old toddler. When it comes to play time though, he is 100% kid.
