Three Years of Christmas Blessings | 2010

Christmas is a time to be jolly and bright. The problem is, when you are spending Christmas far away from home. We were so used to Christmas eve as the night we all walk to church and celebrate the birth of Christ with families and sometimes even friends that we meet along the way. Then off we go home, eating puto bumbong while walking back (walking is faster due to the traffic). Then Christmas dinner with ham and salad and whatever it is that is shared at the dining table. Let's not forget the gifts that we receive after the small feast.


All that changed when we came to live in this foreign land. In as much as we want it to be like the old days (getting gifts at 30 years old was kind of fun), the absence of family really takes a lot out of Christmas. But that wouldn't really stop us from celebrating what it's all about. So we don't get to walk to church together as family, but at least we have prayer time together. We don't get to eat puto bumbong anymore, but there's still cake and there still is a small feast. Alas, gift giving is not a big affair (with only the three of us), but it's a great moment nonetheless, especially for Jakjak.

It's not about the gifts, or so we would like to believe. But happiness and prosperity are gifts that cannot be measured tangibly. And they are given and received without anyone really noticing. The blessings that we had received over the last three Christmases was all worth the smiles and the thank yous. It has been a tremendous gift for myself, Judy and of course, Jakjak. All of these, we thank our Lord God for. All these blessings, not just this Christmas, but all throughout the years. Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Smiles and Frowns | 2010

Sometimes, Jakjak's silliness peaks at the most awkward times. And it brings us endless joy and laughter to see him at his best.


It's not always smiles and giggles though. At his worst, he can become an onslaught of naughty. It brings me endless frustration when he is at his worst because it becomes really hard to control him. And he will taunt you to death until you both get cross. So let's not delve into that part of his personality.

Happiness comes in all forms when it comes to Jakjak. He can make you laugh just by sitting there and making faces. He can even make you laugh just babbling about nothing. He will tell you endless stories with characters weaved from different books and movies with the most interesting plots. He will do stunts. He will make things out of paper and clay (with some crayons and paint thrown in for good measure). He will "wow" you with the new things that he discovers day after day. He will even amaze you when you realize that most of the things he knows, he has learned from mum, dad and the discovery channel. 


It is all of these amazing things that make you negate the simpleton tantrums that he throws at you. But you can't ignore it either. We do our best to educate him about the folly of his ways, but after that (lately, that includes a bit of crying and whining), we go back to being "normal" kids.

Grandma and Grandpa | 2010

The problem with living in a far off place (overseas) is that you tend to be away from the whole family. This is the reason why I made it a point to bring my own family with me whenever and wherever I am. We continue to keep our relationships close, or as close as we can to as many family members as we can. This is especially true for Jakjak who left for a new home when he was but 3 years old. No one misses him more than his grandparents. So what did they do? Well, they decided to visit.


Jakjak was very happy when Mamu and Papu arrived. Surprisingly, he warmed up to them immediately this time. In the words of Mum, he had matured. Quite quickly actually. He just turned five! As much as we love him and want to be with him, we know he needs a balance in his relationships. So we sneaked out while he was having fun with his grandparents. Okay, so maybe we had other plans at the back of our minds, but hey, children need to be in touch with their grandparents. It's like a right of passage. I did it when I was a kid. 

We spent as many days as we had to go out. Bring them to sights, bring them to have good eats, bring them to where Jakjak goes. Jakjak has actually been a good tour guide and a good host. He entertains, he sings, he dances and he shows that he likes them being there. In fact, I believe that the last two weeks with them has been good for everybody. Jakjak has enjoyed the stories of Mamu and Papu. Mamu and Papu have enjoyed Jakjak's infectious happiness. Mum and Dad have enjoyed a few moments on our own as well.

Those were good times. Short but sweet. As it turns out, growing up does have it's perks. For both children and adults. But I think most especially, it was grandma and grandpa who enjoyed it the most. 

I Am Five | 2010

Five years ago, I was in the operating room of Asian Hospital in Alabang, Muntinlupa. I was in a daze because my wife is in labor and we were about to be on the receiving end of a 7-month pre-term baby who was very impatient and wants to come out early. Days and nights in the Neo-natal ICU followed. Days of visits to doctors and specialists soon came after. Followed still by a few hitches and a few glitches later on.

But five years on, we never would have imagined Jakjak to be this irresistable little huggy-bug that brings endless joy to his mum and dad (and most of everyone else that he knows).

I can still recall how he worried us when he got his first fever and could not sleep. When he had his first cold and could not breathe. When he had his first operation for hernia at 6 months old (God, that was unbearable for a parent, especially a dad). And that time when he fell from the bed when he was but 3 months old. He still worries us every now and then, it's just not as often as before. He still falls and fumbles every now and then, but it's just because he is too much of a scrambler who does not look at where he's going most of the time. And we love him to bits.

He likes presents. He likes toys. He likes pretty much whatever it is you give him (except for food during lunch and dinner). But he doesn't ask for toys that often. He asks if what he wants is expensive or not, and leaves it on the shelf if it is. He will often shout "I like that" when he sees the TV ad, but he never throws a tantrum just to get it at the toy store. In a way, I probably did that to him. I was like that when I was small, but for a different reason than what I was teaching him. Because today, I can give him the toys that he wants, but we control our buying sprees simply because he has so many toys already that he knows what to do with. And we fell it's healthy for the both of us (I did not have as much toys as Jakjak has when I was his age).

He knows his letters and his numbers. He knows his words and his vocabulary is quite big for his age. He would often ask what a word means if he hears it for the first time and will use it while talking to you until he understands how to use it. He knows how volcanoes erupt and that Saturn has rings made of gas. He knows which is a Ferrari and which is a Porsche, and he also knows which is a Mazda. He makes cake and ice cream from Play Doh. He draws helicopters, buses (with 3D wheels) and mum and dad. He makes trains out of empty boxes and water bottles and a rocket booster from cardboard and paper (decorated with green highlighter pens). He's an imaginative thinker, and he makes good use of his talents to bring love and happiness to people. And we appreciate it most, because we love this boy to the core.

Appetizer | 2010

For the longest time, Mum had been coaxing Jakjak into eating to make him, well, look healthier. He is healthy, mind you, it's just when you look at our sizes, he seems a bit underwhelming. The problem we found with Jakjak is that he eats only what he wants to eat at a certain time. He eats most of anything, in his own time. And when he wants to eat, he really wants to eat. Lately, he's been chomping his way on late night dinners and milk before going to bed (that's dinner at 11 PM!).

Of course, as with most of anything that we allow him to do, we still need to watch what he eats. The way we are now, and the problems that we have (high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc.), we believe it prudent that Jakjak learns which foods are good for him and which are not. Thankfully, he likes what we give him (most of the time) and is easy to teach and control. We let him have his way as long as he has eaten healthy at least 70% of his total intake.

One problem that we have always assumed to be the cause of Jakjak's non-capacity to gain weight is his over-hyper-dooper-active lifestyle. When he's not sleeping, he's talking. When he's not talking, he's playing with his toys. When he's not playing with his toys, he's running around like a headless chicken trying to juggle a gazillion things at the same time.


At the very least, we are now happy with his eating habits. It took a while to get him to eat right, but a little bit of persuasion from Mum and Dad helped. We taught him how to cook (by engaging his help while Mum is cooking), we taught him how to make sandwiches (the messy kind), we had him help make pancakes (after which the kitchen looks like snow city) and just ask him to be there while we eat. Of course, now he has his own toy stove with a complete set of pans, a tea party set, an ice cream maker and a bunch of Japanese style miniature food replicas. Girl stuff? Nah, chefs are men with balls after all.

Mister Maker | 2010

One of Jakjak's favorite things to do at the moment is to "make something". He had just gotten a new Play Doh ice cream making set which he saw on the telly (it was on sale!) and was having a jolly good time pretending to serve ice cream swirls, when he finished his Cookie Crisp cereal. At the back of the box was a cut out rocket which I helped him cut and tape together. After a while, he had a great idea and put on the cut up box on his head and started mumbling airline blabber (you know, the kind that goes "we are now at 1800 feet above Singapore ..."). He had so much fun that he forgot about the ice cream maker. 

This is a pilot helmet. Really.

There seems to be something about empty boxes that call out to children. He once used a big empty computer box (one I used to carry my stuff out of my old office) as an airplane. He used a "balik-bayan" box as a hide out. He even used one of medium-sized ones to make himself a Jakjak in a box. If I had only realized that it would be this cheap to get creative playtime with him, I would have just put all those Hotwheels cars in a box (one that says "Dad's") and bought him empty cardboard boxes from the local grocery. It would have made our place look like a warehouse though, and Mum probably wouldn't approve.

This is a train. Really really.

During their free time, Mum usually home schools Jakjak with letters, numbers, words and the sort of things that you learn in school. Most of the time though, Jakjak is just playing or watching the telly. Television shows nowadays seem to have evolved, and I meant that in a good way. Back in the day, the only choice I had was Sesame Street and the News. Today, we are watching Word World, Captain Y, Mister Maker, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Dora and Diego and all the other education biased shows. Which is a relief, because those are the shows that Jakjak likes to watch (along with Flapjack and the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy). With some parental guidance, he's been learning stuff that I didn't know until I was thirteen. It's good to see him use what he has learned, and it makes him proud to see his work appreciated, which is why our kitchen has now become an art wall. We like to think of it as, free wallpaper.

Home | 2010

We always tell Jakjak that home is where all of us are together. Dad, Mum and Jakjak. This is because he was born in the Philippines and has grown up there until the age of three, before we moved to Singapore. And as young as he was back then, we made some pretty good memories with families and friends. Sometimes, Jakjak would see something familiar, like a toy or a photograph, and he would just say: "Dad, I have one just like that in the Philippines!". He is always so happy (and sometimes a bit surprised) to see something that he remembers from his younger days. So we brought him back home for a vacation (the problem that comes with a job, is that you rarely get chances like these).

Surprisingly, those locked up memories that he used to blurt out seemed to disappear when we were there. It was like, it was in his subconscious, but it failed to unearth itself during the time he was actually there. Mum felt a bit sad, because those memories seemed so vivid at the back of Jakjak's mind during all that time. So we decided to make as much memories as we could. Ten days is just too short for making memories. Specially since Jakjak had no sense of time whatsoever. He still woke up at 10 in the morning and slept at 12 midnight. He still played as much as he could with whoever would play with him at the time (sadly, Dad had to go to hospitals for check ups and doctor's appointments for his gallbladder).

At the very least, we managed to let him ride a horse, have a picnic and play with his cousins. There were still a lot of things we wanted to do and places we wanted to see. But the weather was not as cooperative as we would have hoped and my trips to the doctor went on longer than what we expected. Still, it was as good as it is. And at the end of the trip, Jakjak, naturally did not want to go back.


It had been a great time off from everything. We managed to lay back and relax for a bit of time. We managed to get Jakjak some time to be with his cousins and grandparents. Memories are all that we made on that trip. But they were memories that we would always cherish. Hopefully, we would be able to do it again in a few months time. Until then, it's back to living our lives in our home (with Dad, Mum and Jakjak, wherever it may take us).

Night Library | 2010

We somehow managed to get Jakjak into reading. And as such, we have amassed a good number of books for him. He does not read yet, unfortunately, but at least the drive is there. We have already put aside books that were not for his age anymore like shapes, colors and big drawing types. Although occasionally he manages to find the hidden treasure box and asks us to read his old books. Those books used to take us 2 minutes to finish back when he was 2 years old. now it takes us 1 and 1/2 minutes. You just can't satisfy a child's curiosity. Add to that the fact that they are able to find the most minute detail in a picture book made for children under the age of 3!

We are now into Dr. Seuss. And strangely enough, the stranger the book, the more interesting it is for Jakjak. Cat in the hat is just a tiny part in the imagination of Dr. Seuss. In fact, you can probably live in a whole planet of weird with all the characters in these books. And although we feel that there are some words that are still not suited for his age, parental guidance helps with controlling what goes into a child's mind (we now have the ability to automatically replace the word "stupid" with "silly" out of any reading material no matter the font face). 


We are also a regular now in the public library where there are lots of "free" books. At least free for two weeks. I believe it's a good thing to start them early on reading. It enhances his vocabulary and is a great excuse for dad to spend some quality time with baby without breaking his back playing horseback (dad of course being the horse). I do my best to read at least 2 books a night, all of which I have to go into character to keep him busy. I know he's paying attention because I play with the words and he corrects me every so often. In fact, you can't skip pages because he absolutely knows the books inside and out now.


In general, we choose books with nice, friendly pictures and big enough text. We match it with his attention span and his interests (cars, faeries and families) and only buy it if we know he really likes it. We had books that he read for one week and we have books that he has been reading for months! We do our best to get into the habit of reading to him and we have a regular schedule now. Unfortunately, "schedule" does not mean the time of the night, it just means the sequence of events before he goes to sleep (bath, brush teeth, story, sleep). Still, we prefer this than having fall asleep in front of the telly (he already does that for his afternoon naps).

Maximum Security Cell | 2010

I remember the days when I started making the house a safer place for babies. That was the day Jakjak first fell off the bed. And to think he wasn't even 5 months old back then. Over the years, I thought that we have already outgrown the need to make things safe. I mean, it was almost always second nature to us already to keep sharp things away from child's reach, dangerous liquids in high cabinets and all that basic safety ideas. So last night, Jakjak managed to cut his pinky-finger with a fold-away trolly.


I have already surrendered to the fact that a toddler, a boy at that, would be an active and adventurous little critter. How wrong I was. He is active, and he is adventurous. Just not as active and adventurous as I would have thought. As he was growing up, Jakjak had always been playing catch up with me. During his "training" years, he would be able to run a few meters and then sit down. Today, dad can run a few meters and then sit down. It's a sad thing when age comes clawing up your lower back. Still, that is active play, and I know that kids need it. As much of it as he wants as far as I'm concerned (because if he manages to tire himself out of playing, the chances that he would go take a bath and straight to bed is much more a possibility). But sometimes there are no kids his age at the playground, so he plays with an adult with a brain his age (yes, he looks at me that way - in fact, even Judy does - waitaminute! sounds like a conspiracy to me!).

And in the hours upon hours of playing and being silly, he manages to get bruised, scratched, cut, you name it. Jakjak shrugs most of it off. In fact, in his dictionary, it's "no blood, no foul". Of course, in mum and dad's dictionary it's "that won't come off until Tuesday". At the back of it all, we do our best to remind him to be careful, to watch where he's going (this one, it seems, he has absolutely no drive to do) and to watch out for that tree. It's amazing how tough he is though. It's like he was carved out of marble. It really takes quite a wallop to stop him in his tracks. And at the very least, we are thankful that he is as tough as nails.

Tired Out | 2010

It started out as your typical week. A bit tiring because of the current shift at work and a bit stressed due to lack of manpower. At home, it was more or less, typical as well. Jakjak being Jakjak, he becomes annoyingly cute. I'm not quite sure if it's just because we're his parents that we can keep our sanity behind all of his antics. He runs around our small flat, bumps his head on the sofa (twice), trips on his own toys and never stops talking about anything and everything. Sometimes I wonder where he gets all his stories from because he somehow has a never ending supply of it.


Near the end of the week though, Jakjak decided to add some spice to our lives. More for mum though, because I was hot under the collar but still went all the way to work (sometimes, you just have to). 15  minutes through my commute, Judy calls me up and asks where I hid the torches. It was ten in the morning so I wondered what the torch was for. Apparently, the little monkey stuck two rubber tires (from a toy aeroplane) into his nose. While mum managed to get one of them out, Jakjak insists that he put in two. And while kids tend to make up stories to grab your attention, we believe him and mum takes him to the clinic. The clinic, after failing to remove the tire (how hard can it be, right?) referred the two to a specialist children's hospital.

Alas, after a few hours of struggling with the doctors and nurses (the bad experience from the clinic irritated the little boy somehow), he was deliberately put to sleep. Within a few minutes, they managed to yank out the remaining tire. However, due to the sedation, the hospital kept them for another hour until it wore off. All of the things that happened probably enriched my wife's experience as a mum by ten-fold. And while I did want to be there to help, work (as usual) kept me from doing such. However, Judy handled it beautifully, and at the end of the day, it was like nothing happened at all (for Jakjak anyway).


When I asked Jakjak what he was trying to do when he put the tires in his nose, he said: "Well, I was trying to make mommy happy, but she wasn't, she got cross". I could only imagine the scene when Jakjak had excitedly proclaimed "Look Mom!" with the tires on his nose. At the end of his story, Jakjak merely stated: "It's crazy, huh?".

Mummy Maker | 2010

Over the weekend we decided to bring Jakjak to Egypt!

Unfortunately, like his trip to Antartica, it was only a 'pretend' Egypt. The National Museum of Singapore was carrying an exhibit on the Quest for Immortality. The main focus of this was Egypt's penchant for mummifying everyone and everything. 

Through the museum doors, we found out that it was not free and had to queue for tickets. At which time, Jakjak and I were playing hide and seek and chase in the main lobby of the National Museum of Singapore. I was actually admiring the architecture of the thing while Jakjak merrily runs around playing peek-a-boo at just about every pillar and block. Finally, in the darkness of the museum halls, we brought Jakjak to see mummies! This was not all new to him as he had been watching the Little Einsteins going to Egypt, talking to magic sphinxes, listening to musical hieroglyphics and all that.

He liked the king and queen marble statues, particularly because he thought it was Mum and Dad (guess who told him that, hehehe). He also recognized the small Sphinx and the pyramids. Activities were also around the place, and he wanted to make a pyramid out of paper, which, unfortunately was not so easy to make (we were nearly able to make one, nearly - honest). We then proceeded to make an Egyptian necklace and a mummy. He made so much fuss about everything that he wanted to do with the mummy and the necklace that we ended up making the things ourselves. He did the finishing touches though and put in the goog-ly eyes (which he learned from Mister Maker).

I'm glad he enjoyed the trip. Making friends with just about every kid there and using his vivid imagination to make himself busy. It was a great experience for him, four years young, and absorbing knowledge like a sponge. And a parent could not be prouder walking hand in hand with their kid in a place where kid's do not normally want to go to. And how proud we are of him.

Big Brother | 2007

As the weeks went on and we became comfortable with how we needed to raise Jakjak, it had not even occurred to us to give him a brother or a sister. At least not yet. He was a darling to hold and carry around during his baby days when he was still in a crib. But the moment he stepped out and started walking on his own (let alone running and jumping as well), he became a handful.

More so when his cousin Andrae comes to visit. If the house looks like it's been toppled over by a hurricane with Jakjak. When the two of them are together, it's like a disaster movie where your left hanging on for dear life while the Earth collapses in front of your very eyes. On the calm before the storm, these two are like siblings, saying silly things like "I missed you" and "I love you" to each other. Then after a while (5 minutes, tops), it's like a King Kong versus Godzilla battle! Minimum of 3 rounds, I might add.


Hence the decision to put off a second one for later. It's called family planning, if you wanted to be technical and politically correct about it. But it's good. You'll never fully understand your child's needs and your shortcomings in the first year.

When I was Jakjak | 2007

know I spent a good 5+ years in the care of my grandparents from both sides of the family. My parents were typical hardworking folks that I saw most nights and the weekends. They were like that because they had to, typical of most parents back in the 80s I would say.

Now that I am a parent, I realize the pain and frustration they had to face every day they were away from their kids (at 5 years old, there were only me and my older sister). I feel it, and I know it.

But that was 20 something years ago. Things have changed. I am in a better position now than where my parents were back then. Which makes Jakjak, the luckier one between the two of us.

Whatever it was I may have missed when I was 5, I promised myself that Jakjak would not miss. Looking back at my conversations with my dad not so long ago, that's exactly what he told me. It seems like a cycle of discontent eating away at our outlook in life fueled by past shortcomings. I believe now that it should not be that way. My generation is different from that of my dad. And surely, Jakjak's generation will be different from mine. It is fruitless to hang on and compare the life of the old to the life of the young. If not for nostalgia and lessons learned, it's best to let the past be what it is. Past.

The thing I appreciate and will enforce, is that my dad always wanted us to live good lives. To that extent, I will do my best to give Jakjak and Judy a good life.

Perpetual Motion | 2007

When Jakjak learned to walk, he decided that he needs to be fast. And just like that, he evolved from an unbalanced perpetual walker, to a high speed what-does-brake-mean? little man.

You can tell he is having so much fun doing what he does by just looking at his face. You can hear him screaming and laughing from feet away. And you can hear his grandparents screaming and panting right after him. Sometimes, you will even hear me screaming "stop! stop! stop!" right behind him. You should really teach children the word "stop" before you teach them the word "go". In this little exercise, I have observed that once children learn how to "go", "stop" normally becomes "go faster" when you teach it to them. And if you start chasing them to grab them, they go into hyper-turbo mode and run even faster.

Not that I worry not being able to catch Jakjak in hyper-turbo mode (let's face it, 4 steps in hyper-turbo is just 1 step from me), it's just that the structural integrity of the boy just was not made to engage hyper-turbo at this stage. This means his mind goes faster than his feet can carry him, and it's not a pretty sight (for parents, more-so for grandparents).

When that happens. Jakjak sits for moment to catch his breath (he calls it "gassing up"). He then looks for his foot-powered car and attaches it to himself like outboard boosters. And then things really turn into blurs.

Good Nights | 2007

In the first year, getting a baby to sleep was almost as easy as sticking a baby bottle up to the baby. As the months pile in, the baby gets smarter and realizes that life is not all about the bottle. It then gets a bit more complicated getting the little bloke to sleep. Still, it's not so bad, a pat on the bum, a song or a hum, a pacifier and you should still be quite good. It's when the baby starts getting nightmares that makes it really difficult.

First, it's because you don't really know if the baby is having nightmares or not. We had to assume this by calculating Jakjak's actual age and his mental age (somehow, they made things more complicated for preemies) and base it on the books that we have read (which is limited knowledge, honestly). Second, the baby cannot really tell you if he is having a nightmare or not. In fact, he cannot even tell you what he actually wants when he wakes up in the middle of the night. And third, waking up in the middle of the night does not really put your head in perspective.

It was good then that my sister came and gave Jakjak a precious gift. Timothy. Timothy is a Precious Moments doll in pyjamas that prays the goodnight prayer. Jakjak cuddles him every night, and we tell him that praying will keep the nightmares away. So before he goes to bed, we press Timothy's hands and pray with him together. Of course, it took a bit more of tie before Jakjak actually said his evening prayer, but we believe that it made him understand the power of it.

Fully Booked | 2007

My wife, Judy, is a bookworm. And a contagious bookworm at that.

You see, I had it with books after college. I mean, lugging around a book that weighed a kilogram (more or less) that was full of numbers and symbols was not actually fun.

Besides, during those days, I relied on movies and television for entertainment. Not to mention our trusty old Playstation with a seemingly endless number of game titles. The only reading I had been doing were magazines about cars, cars and more cars. And the occasional FHM thrown in every now and then (it was a good read for grooming and health).

So when I met the wife, she introduced me back to good old fashioned reading. Harry Potter helped a lot as it brought my interest back. Since then, I have not looked back. I am not yet a certified bookworm, but I now trade my PSP for a good read most of the time (sorry, but I'm a Playstation generation baby). One good thing about being a poor, cheap slob like me is that I can easily spot a 'sale' from a good distance. We got most of our books from book sales, and these were books in pretty good condition. Most of Jakjak's books also came from book sales, and his books were even more expensive than ours combined!

Introduce your child to books as early as possible to catch his interest in them. We used books that had texture, colors and moving parts to Jakjak. Shiny books were always attention grabbing to him, and he especially loved this set of books called 'Shiny Garage' (which consisted of four vehicle shaped books with moving wheels). We are quite relieved that we gave enough time to read books to Jakjak at an early stage. As he was growing up, he had more toys to play with, but we had taken a habit into bedtime reading with Jakjak. You know those movies where parents read to their children to put them to bed? It's actually a reality at our home. And when we forget, Jakjak is the one who reminds us that "it's story time". We're proud of the little bugger.

Horsing Around | 2007

Jakjak has always shown a fascination for animals. I think most kids have. His books introduced him to the different kinds of animals, but then, I don't believe children would really understand what these animals are until they see them. 

The first animal that we probably introduce to our kids are our pets. They may be dogs, cats, fish, hamsters or even snakes (although I don't really recommend introducing your python to a 1 1/2 year old child). By then, he would show interest because, well, they're different from him. Admit it,a horse with his personal belongings hanging out from his underside would be a very shocking sight to a small boy. But with kids, feeding their curiosity in the right way will make them appreciate, or at least understand the things around them.

Whenever Jakjak sees something he has never seen before, he asks, "Dad, what's that?". And we always tell him what it is in as simple as possible. And when he comes across something that we have taught him before, he becomes excited and points it out "Dad, look! It's our car!", or "Dad, it's a van!". Sometimes what he sees are just similar, but not necessarily the same. And when this happens, we correct him slightly and explain the difference. I reckon, baby talk only works until the child learns to talk. When he is talking concrete words, it's time to upgrade the way you talk to him as well. We talk to Jakjak now as normal as the words he can understand. And it has so far enhanced his vocabulary and understanding.

Potty Training 101 | 2007

When you get tired of changing diapers and wiping baby buns off your baby, you get the idea that it's time for potty training.

We had this knack for buying books at a book sale. We got pretty good deals on children's books from them and we have found a story book on potty training. Luckily, Jakjak was a story book lover as well. So after a few rounds of story telling, it was time to put it to the test.

We bought Jakjak a potty trainer that we put on the side of our toilet. He started with making 'pee-pee' on it. Lots of it. He usually fills it halfway every morning. However, the 'poo-poo' part took a little longer to sink in to him. He still had his diapers on so it was not a big worry, but every now and then, he would shout: 'Dad! Poo-poo!'. We would then take him upstairs and sit him down on his potty. At times it took him 10 or so minutes sat down on the potty before making any poo-poo, sometimes none at all. But we always praised him every time he did 'big business', and this made him somehow want to be doing it in the potty instead of on his diaper.

It does not happen overnight though. And patience is still the key to effective potty training. Jakjak managed to get a hang of it in several months time. And during those training months, there were moments that he sort of forgets he does not have a diaper and disaster happens (and it happens when we had just changed the sheets, there must be something about 400 thread count sheets). But nevertheless, we encouraged him to train. With encouragement and patience though, you will be the proud parents of a potty trained kid in no time at all.

Half the Fun | 2007

One of the things I thought about the most was how would I make my child happy.

And that was way before we had even planned on having one. You see, when you are at that planning stage, you tend to think a lot about how you would like your child to grow up. You think about how to set yourself up as a good parent. You think about the stuff you want to buy to make your child's life better and well-off. It's a common thought, and one that most often scares would be parents.

But if I did not get over that fear, I would not know what it is like having Jakjak. Looking back now, I realize that parenting is not an exact science. Sure, there is the butterflies and the bees thing, the calendar counting to up the chances of having the gender of your choice, and all those other things that come as advise from those that have already gone through the journey of parenthood (yes, this means your mom and dad). But in all honesty, the hurdle was actually getting over the anxiety of the thought of being a parent, in my case, a father.

Half of the fun (or excitement - your choice of adjective) of becoming a parent is the mystery that comes along with it. The things that you won't know until it has actually happened. The things that make your mind work in overdrive for keeping up with the now and imminent tomorrow. And then there's the part where we act on what is given to us. Because with mystery comes expectations. And if you don't get what you expect, you tend to loom in disappointment. And this is where it becomes a bit dangerous. When we over complicate something that should not go through too much scrutiny, it takes away the mystery and overwrites it with suspense (and not in a good way).

Instead of thinking about things like 'what color would the crib be?' or 'where should I buy his first pair of rompers?', just ask the one question that really matters: 'Am I Ready?'.

Driving Ambitions | 2007

The Ferrari F50 was made to celebrate Ferrari's 50th anniversary. It was a monster of a car in it's time.

You could say it was one of Jakjak's first cars (He was one year old when he rode this). Of course, it was coin operated rather than petrol powered. It was made fiber glass instead of carbon fiber. But we all remember our firsts.

I have always been fascinated by cars. In fact, I love them. You would see me turn my head more often when I see a good looking car than a good looking girl. And because I was very open to this even when Jakjak is around, I think it has trickled down to the little fellow. 

I have always believed that toy cars are a boys first set of toys. Well, this becomes a slight fact only after the educational toys have come to pass. And even then, you can't force your child with toys that you want rather than what he wants. Because even with his toy cars (hand picked by his dad, of course), Jakjak plays with a doll house. Yep, a doll house. Probably because two of his older cousins were girls and this was one of their old toys. But yep, we let him play with his doll house. Of course, instead of dolls, he was using his hotwheels cars to sit on the couch, open the doors, peak through the windows and have tea parties. Go figure.

Still, parents will influence their child a great deal as they are growing up. This is because children only know three people in his world. His mum, his dad and himself. And at the tender age of one, his mum and his dad are his 'ultimates'. It will show in a few years time what influences you have, as a parent, given to your child. I know this because at four years old, Jakjak had carried on his dad's love for cars and has decided he wanted to be a Ferrari race car driver when he grows up! (There goes dad's bank account)

Pets | 2007

We were not exactly dog lovers in the sense that we never dressed them up like dolls.

But we love our dogs, even if they were locals (read: askal or asong kalye). Jakjak loved them too. Unfortunately, our dogs were a bit too big for him and they literally mug him with licks. That is until Muffet came along.

Muffet was a breed dog that came from my brother-in-law, Willie. He found the poor girl lost in the urban jungle and took her home. Jakjak immediately loved her because: 1.) She was smaller than he was. 2.) She was a friendly and playful little dog. Of course, she did need a lot of TLC to get her back in shape, being lost for some time. So a dozen baths, three haircuts and two lice removal sessions later, she was ready to romp.

Jakjak fed her. Jakjak walked her. Jakjak gave her more baths. Jakjak petted her. They were pretty good together, of course, Jakjak being Jakjak, it was not quite a perfect man's best friend relationship. You see, Jakjak fed her ... with his own ice cream that was melting in his hands. Jakjak walked her ... but she runs and drags Jakjak to follow her. Jakjak gave her baths ... while he was taking his own bath. Well, you get the picture.

But it was a good experience for him. In time he learned to be more responsible for his pet. That was what we really wanted him to learn. Love and respect for others. And I'd like to believe that having his own pet had taught him some of this.

Frustrating an Indie | 2007

As soon as Jakjak had learned how to walk properly, he took it as a sign of independence. For what it was worth, independence to him was just that, independently walking. 

He would shrug off our hands when we offered to guide him, and he would even run off at full speed trying to evade us. Which is fine, we thought, as kids probably wanted or even got frustrated at the things they are not able to do. So we give him the little pleasure of some independence.

At the end of the day, he still comes around and asks us to come with him. He still gets to come around and hold our hands when he feels wobbly on uneven terrain. He still comes back to ask us to open doors for him (but he insists that he should be closing them). Soon he's going to be riding his own bike (he's still using pedal cars at the moment) and driving his own car and getting married (ok, maybe that's looking too far ahead).


But the one thing that I have learned is that no matter how frustrating it becomes for a parent to watch his child fumble while he insists on being independent, being patient and reassuring (that you are just there) helps to make them understand the things that they lack. In turn, it builds up trust. And it's important to build up trust between parent and child. And this trust is not as simple as say, keeping a secret kind of trust. This is a trust that builds the bonds between parent and child. It is a thin line between being someone a child looks up to, and someone that a child will avoid from time to time. So look at balance, a balance between being over-protective and neglect. And above all else, show your love to your child. He learns from it and it will reap rewards in your relationship with him. I know ours have.

Next Stop ... Up! | 2007

So now your child can walk. Hurrah! It's a  milestone in his life, and a mark of good parenting on your part, right? For the most part, I would say yes. The question is what role did you play in getting him there? 

I have to admit, I wish I had more time to spend with Jakjak to teach him new stuff. But work and chores get in the way. Still, when you look back on it, you realize that children absorb things like a sponge. They learn from their mistakes (unlike some stubborn adults) and make the necessary adjustments to keep themselves from falling. I have also noticed that their drive to achieve something is far more persistent than an adult. It may look mundane to us the goals that children at this age (one +) want to achieve (get up and walk, reach the glass of water, make a mess, etc.), but then you have to realize that their goals at that point is learning the basics.

So now your child can walk. Now what? Well, to give you a better picture, we have a rather large and empty living room which gives Jakjak loads of room to play and roll and crawl all over. Our bedroom however, is on the 2nd floor some dozen or so steps away. So in the instant that you decide to take a break, he'll notice you're going up the stairs. And he decides to follow. The designated stair-watcher has to be alert when he does this and re-direct his attention to something else. But there came a time when diversion didn't work anymore. So it was like learning how to walk all over again.

Every time Jakjak decides to go on the stairs, you have to be there and wait on him, guide him and clap your hands every step he manages to cleverly take. Believe me, this took a while (and quite a bit of time). Imagine more than five minutes to get up a flight of steps. And that's not yet including the way down. We let him have a go at it because in the end, he will do it anyway. It's either this, or get a lift built into the house.

On some days, after he finally got the hang of it, he would go up half way, call onto us through the railings and give that wonderfully sweet smile of his. We smile back at him with a reminder to be careful, but what he does not see is dad's heart beating twice as fast as normal hoping that he would remember to hold on to the railings and get up or down safely.

Shared Delight | 2007

Changes were expected at the arrival of a child. And there were a lot. There were sleepless nights, soiled diapers and messy houses. Not to mention the stacking bills and shopping expenses. I had then succumbed that it would be a while before we tasted a Mocha Frappuccino again.

One other change was the diet when we went out of the house. Sure, he survived the first year with his ration of baby food. But I found out that babies evolve much faster if you give them organic baby food. No kidding! When Jakjak got his teeth, I thought it should have been in two more months. Not to mention him starting to climb stairs all by himself by now! (this, we had to take drastic action on, seriously)

 And so we were bringing him out more often with us. And that meant always having something good for a one year old to eat. I mean, honestly, I don't think french fries qualify as baby food. As the food hunting went on, Jakjak continued to evolve and decided to start eating most of the same food that we do, as long as he can bite his teeth into them. So his baby diet included pizza, cheese (from a cheeseburger), french fries, donuts and to top it all off, a Mocha Frappuccino!

Surely, at least one of those made his mum very happy. I mean, how could you not say 'no' when Jakjak points to a Mocha Frap at Starbucks?

Walking the Walk | 2007

When you are watching your child grow up, you sometimes grow impatient. Not because you are frustrated that your child cannot do what you want him to do, but rather because you set your expectations too high. Maybe because your friend's cat can play with a ball of yarn at 2 months old, or your neighbor's dog fetching sticks at 3 months old. I believe that every child is special, and that he will shine and surprise you when that time is due.

Then there's the reality that raising one is an awfully big responsibility. In the movies, you see the good stuff. The laughing, the playing, the cute smile and obnoxious farting. But when you're actually there, you see what goes on behind the scenes. What the director of the movie has to put up with. This includes the wailing, the crying, the messy feeding and the stinky diapers. This is where I believe the line is drawn between the men and the boys, not some race to see who is the fastest or who scores the most baskets. What separates the men from the boys, is how you buck up and change soiled diapers (when the baby has diarrhea, no less).

When Jakjak was still a baby, we couldn't wait for him to start crawling. After getting tired of waiting for him to crawl, he walked! The little bugger actually walked! Sure he was clinging to the side of the crib like there's no tomorrow, but he walked! Rather than crawl, he must have figured he would get farther (and faster) if he was walking. And when he was walking, we couldn't wait until he could do it on his own, without the guides, without holding on to mum and dad. When we got tired of waiting, he decided he wanted to ride the baby pram instead! He must have figured out he would get farther (and even faster) in less time and less effort if he was in a pram! He really shines where it matters though, in giving his mum and dad the time of their lives.

Nutty Donuts | 2007

Go Nuts Donuts opened in a mall near our place. The first time we tasted the sweetness of these nutty donuts, we had to traverse Manila's treacherous traffic laden streets. It soon came nearer, and the travel time was cut in half. When it finally opened at a mall just a stone's throw away, we imagined stuffing ourselves with gooey chewy donuts all day! 

That never happened. Because for some reason, the excitement just isn't there anymore when you don't need to battle for your round piece of heaven. Still, Jakjak was as happy as ever munching his way through every sweet bite of black forest donuts. This gave mum and dad an excuse to get some cold frappuccinos (not in any way comparable to Starbucks) along with his pile of sweets.

Thankfully, donuts are not the only reason we go to the mall. After a handful of calories and a dollop of sugar coated flour, we stroll around the mall to burn some of the fats. Also, at the very least, the mall was a place for Jakjak to interact with other people (really, he's just so ... 'political' in nature). We also at least let him spend some time in play areas scattered within the mall. For the most part, it's where we cool off when it gets hot in our house. Think of it as an air conditioned playground. :)