Bath 101 | 2006

At first, we thought Jakjak would be like other kids who are afraid to take baths. It turns out, it was the other way around. It was me who was afraid to give him a bath. When he was still as tiny as hamster (OK, maybe a guinea pig), it was fine as we just sponge him while he was in a baby tub. As he grew bigger, the tub grew smaller and he just won't fit properly anymore. So we had to get him one of those sitting chairs for baths. And he liked it.

So what was so scary about that? For one thing, it takes a bit of effort to get him sat down and locked tight. And of course, he becomes as slippery as a greased pig when he's bathing. Then there's the part that he wriggles out of your hands trying to get one thing or another (he had a whole family of rubber duckies when he bathes). He actually slipped out of my hands at one time and almost fell in the sink. Thank goodness he has a guardian angel keeping him safe all the time.

My wife, being my wife, had a complete set of bath stuff. Baby shampoo, baby liquid soap, baby toothpaste, baby scrub, baby lotion, baby oil and everything else that comes in between. If it was me, soap and water would have done just about the same thing. In fact, a garden hose would probably have done the same job, but then again, smelling like a leaf might not be such a good thing for a baby.

And as time passed by, we found out that Jakjak actually loved having baths. Then again, it could have been his excuse to make a lot of mess without it being his fault.

Jump Start | 2006

There was a time I remember that Jakjak had been in hyper-mode. Not quite what I expected from a premature baby. He'd been eating a LOT! and I mean a lot. I don't know if I'm just not familiar with how babies eat, but from my point of view, a 30-minute eating interval is a lot of eating. We've bought a good deal of baby food for him those past few months, he's tasted every flavor imaginable and none of it has gone to waste. He's been eating (baby-sized of course) adobo, sinigang, menudo, mechado, fried chicken, french fries, spaghetti, pancit canton and every other food that we (Judy and I) eat. If he could grab his spoon properly, he'd probably had been sitting on a chair beside me at the dining table!

According to the book about babies that my wife, Judy, had been reading, Jakjak should be able to crawl, creep and begin to sit up at his corrected age of 6 months. At real time, he was already walking. Maybe because he gets frustrated at times when it takes too long for him to get to where he wants to be. Of course, he does his walking with the aid of a baby walker, but hey, even that's an improvement.

Actually, he had been frustrated for a long time about not being able to do much. He always turned over from his position in bed every chance he got. He always tried to roll away to get anywhere. He had his fair share of falling from the bed (the first time it happened was barely 3 months when we took him home from the hospital). In fact, we had almost given up trying to watch over him and just put bars in every nook and cranny of the house.

Homegrown Fun | 2006

I've always believed that children are best served warm. I know because I've managed to take care of two nieces and a nephew for quite a bit. Of course, those were just like babysitting and not really parenthood. But it was a good start, and it became a test bed for me and my wife before we received a gift of our own.

So we learned how to change diapers, bathe him, clothe him properly (you wouldn't believe how much trouble side-tie baby shirts are!), feed him, put him to bed and all the basic things to keep a baby alive. And those are just what they are, basic. And once you get through basic training, you find that you yearn for more, because you get rewarded for your efforts (this may vary by age, but I don't have the funds for a scientific study yet).

On the intermediate level, you get to have fun. You get to be interactive. You get to be frustrated. You get to be exhausted. You get to be a parent. It becomes so excruciatingly tiresome most of the time. There are times you just want to hang your hat and call it a day. There are times that your everyday life becomes so tangled up between work, home, friends and family that you lose your mind. And then I look at the boy. He gives me that cute little smile. A giggle, a laugh. And all of it goes back to you. Your mind becomes whole and everything makes sense. That life is a boy named Jakjak and a wife named Judy.

Preeclampsia and Me | 2006

November 2005 has got to be the scariest and most restless days of my life.


"Pre-eclampsia is a disorder that occurs only during pregnancy and the postpartum period and affects both the mother and the unborn baby. Affecting at least 5-8% of all pregnancies, it is a rapidly progressive condition characterized by high blood pressure and the presence of protein in the urine. Swelling, sudden weight gain, headaches and changes in vision are important symptoms." 


More information at http://www.preeclampsia.org 


It was a Thursday. November 10, 2005. It had been 3 days since our last visit to our OB Gynecologist and it had been 3 days that we found out that her Blood Pressure (BP) had shot up to 150/100. This was high. And since it had been 3 days with medication that had passed and her BP had not resided yet, we decided to go and get confined at the hospital (which apparently, should have been the first thing we had done). Upon admission, her BP shot up to a new high of 200/110. The new OB at the hospital had given her shots of anti-hypertensive and anti-biotics to get her BP down to manageable levels. They also gave her Magnesium (something-something), which my wife said hurt like hell. She told me it was like having your insides burning up. It took more than 2 days of medication and observation to pull her BP back down to an acceptable 150/100 but it was still not low enough to warrant a discharge. Hence, we had been in the hospital for more than a week under constant monitoring and medication and complete bed rest for my wife and baby.


Monday, November 21, 2005. After a few more tests, the OB said that the baby is doing good. Everything is normal for him except of course him being pre-term. It was my wife that was still unstable at that moment. And if she still did not come down from her preeclamptic state, they were going to have to terminate the pregnancy and deliver the baby, whether we liked it or not. 

The good news (it was news, but I wouldn't have thought of it as good) about it is that I already knew what to expect. A pre-term baby at 28 weeks who has at least grown all the proper organs would probably survive as long as he's taken care of properly. The bad news is, it's still not an assurance that he will survive. At the very least, my wife and baby would have been out of direct danger at the same time. 


One of the things I remember on our first day was the doctor asking me:


"If your wife's condition does not improve within 24 hours, we will have to terminate the pregnancy. At this point (27 weeks), the baby's chances for survival are very small. The only way to save them both is to deliver the baby pre-term. In case we deliver and the baby's lungs have not yet developed, you have to decide if he should be revived, with a very small chance of survival, or let him go. What will it be?" 


I could not say anything at that point. A hundred million thoughts were running through my mind, yet none of those thoughts were making any sense. This is my first baby. And this has got to be the scenario I would not want to go through ever again. Up to now, I still don't know what I would have answered to that question.

Welcoming | 2006

Jakjak's Baptism. 

Growing up with Catholic parents, we were taught the values and ways of being, well, Catholics. And being Catholic means that one has to go through Baptism. It's like, rights of passage. A sort of, welcome to the Christian world.

And so it was Jakjak's turn. The thing is, baptisms have been affiliated with big parties, kilometer long banquets, 100+ guest lists and booze. Unfortunately, going this route will easily ramp up my current deficit by three fold. On the other hand, we did skimp on 'extravagance' once before in our life. Our super-secret wedding, so to speak, was reserved for a strict number of guests. So we figured that perhaps this one, for Jakjak's sake, we would give it a bit of a stretch.

Of course, we still wised up and kept spending to a minimum. But even so, we did what we could to keep everything in check. We managed to get the guest list done, making sure we got people we knew very well and would make great friends for Jakjak. We managed to rent out a place that is good for a reception, not flashy, not cheap, and yet was big enough to accommodate our guest list. We managed to trim down cost of the food and amenities by asking relatives for their 'gifts'. We also trimmed down expenses on give aways by making them ourselves. In short, we had an enriching event without being poorer (not by much anyway).

And so it was that Jakjak had been welcomed to the Roman Catholic world. With a little help from mummy, daddy, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles and a few close relatives. But he is here, for whatever reason, because of Him. And for that, we are truly grateful.

Starting Smart | 2006

One day after coming home from work, I decided to read to my son. There was this sing along book that we had bought for him some time ago. Apparently, it had no instructions and the melody was shape and color coded for each page. With no prior singing skills, I sang the songs with all my heart. I was gratified with a smile from my child. 

With years of knowing that I have a defective talent in singing, I managed to bring together something as close to a song (hmmn, rhyme is more like it) as possible. So now I am proud to say that I have two die hard fans in case I pursue a singing career. They would be my wife (had to help clean the bleeding in her ears though) and my baby boy (great kid, knows art when he hears it).

Milk 101 | 2006

When I was watching movies about families (yes, that includes E.T.), I've always thought at the back of my mind of how it would be like to become a dad. Twenty or so years later, and I am one. Frankly speaking, it's not all it was hyped up to be.

Sure, there's waking up in the wee hours of the morning to feed the little bugger. In the earliest of days, I woke up more than once. I wake up, still half asleep, make milk and put him on my lap to be fed. No, I did not breast feed my son, but he did try to lick it once, I guess he didn't like it as much as his mum's. So anyway, sometimes I fall asleep while feeding him, but since I've made it this far, I guess I did a fair enough job. And of course, after feeding, I had to put him upright and wait for him to burp before I had a chance to get back to sleep myself.

Then there's changing the diapers every now and then. This was not so much of a problem and I easily mastered this part. But then, there's cleaning up the poo. Sure, he's on disposable diapers. But even diapers could not mask the stench ... errr ... smell, of processed dairy products. And this happens in the morning, noon and night. The first time I did this, I used about half the container of cotton balls that we had prepared the night before. When I became a 'pro', I only had to use seven! But there was nothing you could do about the smell, and this was even worse when we were out of the house visiting relatives and doctors or just strolling at the mall.

Needless to say, babies also tend to smell not so good if you don't give him a bath. And this is another one of those daddy-must-learn-how-to-do things. For fear of having Jakjak drown in his bath tub (you have to remember, he was very small) we gave him a bath in the kitchen sink. No kidding. Our sink had dish washing liquid, sponge, liquid baby soap and a bottle cleaner. Thankfully, he grew too big for the sink soon enough and we were able to give him a proper bath in the baby tub. And while mum is drying him off, dad is cleaning the puddles of water Jakjak managed to displace while bathing (I swear, he's like a 5.0L V6 petrol engine in displacement).

That covers the basics, I think of the horrors that dads have to face. And it's just fair to remember that fatherhood goes on top of whatever lifestyle I once had. So I go to work full time at the office as an employee and I go to work full time at home as a dad. Like I said, it was not all it was hyped up to be. But the happiness and contentment of being one, especially if you've been blessed with a hyper-sonic, hyper-active super boy like Jakjak, is something I would not trade for the other life I thought I would have had (a rich playboy driving a black BMW Z4 in his prime).

Small Doses of Happiness | 2006

My first Official Duty at the local nursery (read: our house) was the 23rd of January 2006. 

So what happened back then? 

Jakjak snorts, I look if he's ok. Jakjak whines, so I look if he's ok. Jakjak stretches, so I look if he's ok. Jakjak kicks, so I look if he's ok. Jakjak wakes up and looks around, so I look if he's ok. This went  on for quite some time until he finally broke out a cry and I got to feed him at 2 in the morning. 15 minutes later, he was lying face down on my tummy (I guess he likes water beds) and I wait on him to burp. Another good 15 minutes later he does, and he's asleep. So I laid him back down on the bed. This sequence happens three times a night (or should I say, 3 times early morning). 

And so in the morning, he goes about his routine of waking up, sleeping, snorting, kicking, stretching and whining. And then he smiles. What else was he doing before that smile? I forgot.