Seek and Explore | 2007

When Jakjak learned to crawl, he rummaged through everything he can put his paws into. Which is why we had boxes and boxes of mix matched toys and books and what have you in his room. This room also held the TV and DVD player, which of course meant rummaging through the 'stuff' to find Barney and Blue's Clues when we want him to calm down and drink milk.

It's a wonder to watch him crawl and climb and wedge himself to things in order for him to reach something or to stand. It's like he's running on instinct instead of logic. But this trial and error is the thing that helped him grow up and understand the dangers of his surrounding. I never recalled having been so engrossed in watching anyone do the simplest things and be amazed that he can actually do it. Of course, there are bits and pieces that we help him out on, but on the whole, at just over one year old, Jakjak had been learning how to be a survivor in his own little world.

The things we learned from this is that educational toys with lights and sound and an assortment of action-reaction does a good job of getting the child's attention. A little help from mum and dad always adds an element of fun and involvement for little Jakjak, and I believe it will do the same for others out there. In order for Jakjak to feel like a child, dad had to be like a child and do the silliest things with him. So if you can imagine a grown man bark like a dog and wag his pretend tail, then you too can be a child yourself. It's fun actually, to be a child again. And having to share this childishness with your son makes it all the more fun.

Sweet Tooth | 2007

It's our fault to be honest.

I've had sweet teeth for as long as I can remember. And although she can't take the level of sweet that I can, Judy has sweet teeth as well. We've done all of them, milk, double chocolate, nuts, fruits, mixed, mints, orange and probably every chocolate combination (except for durian). And we love it!

Jakjak's first taste of the sweet life was some chocolate ice cream. That was back when he was still just sipping milk from a baby bottle. Judy had the crazy idea of letting Jakjak lick the ice cream from the cone. And he did more than that. He licked and savored the ice cream in his mouth. And I believe that's how it all began.

But he is not all sweets. He still has his own criteria. He never liked chocolate milk for one thing (that was a good waste of 400 grams). He does have a knack for good chocolate though (good and expensive). So he was practically in heaven when he saw these mini-bars of assorted chocolates. He also loves Ferrero Rochers. He can put one whole ball of Ferrero in his mouth, melt it like cheese, drip some chocolate colored saliva from his mouth to the floor and smile a chocolate-y smile all in under 5 minutes. But give him the local Choc-Nut (which happens to be my favorite) and he will just raise an eyebrow. The boy has taste. An epicurean no less. But that does not make my wallet very comfortable. Not at the least.

Christmas Real | 2006

Jakjak's very first Christmas was spent at the hospital's Neo Natal ICU. We celebrated it with only ourselves and the nurses that were on duty that night.

One year after and Jakjak has come home. Celebrating his first real Christmas with the whole family. Being too young to understand what the whole event was all about, he spent his happy moments ripping the wrappers off gifts and sticking them on himself using some left over tape.

Of course, for me and Judy, it meant more than just gifts and Noche Buena. It meant thanksgiving most of all, because we were given the best gift of all. And I believe that He did not just give Jakjak to us because we wanted him so much, but because we earned the right to be Jakjak's parents during the most difficult times of his life. A life that we now share at every moment, be it near or far from each other.

On Christmas morning, we opened our gifts, we visited our relatives and we greeted each other with warm Christmas wishes. Jakjak showed his appreciation for his gifts by giving everyone his bestest smile and his infectious laughter. And so it was that Jakjak's first real Christmas was a simple and heartfelt moment of thanks.

Outta' Gas | 2006

It's amazing how when you think about it, little squirts seem to have an infinite amount of energy.

I saw this first hand as Jakjak was spending more time awake than he was sleeping. And when he learned how to glide in his walker, he spent even more time awake exploring the places where he can bring his walker to. And as much as we try to get him all tired and exhausted (so that Mum and Dad can rest), he just does not want to run out of gas! 

Of course, he did take short breaks (eventually) during the day. Particularly in the afternoon. The thing though, is that when his body clock recognizes that time of the day, his body automatically shuts down and goes on stand by mode. This happens no matter what he is doing. Case in point, the attached picture when I gave him some cookies while playing in his bumper jumper, I went in the house to get some juice and when I came back out, he was just there. Sleeping! In his jumper! With cookie crumbs all over!

When we finally got the hang of his timing, Judy and I decided it was best to take turns wearing him out until he falls asleep. This worked for about a month when Jakjak's sleeping habits changed constantly. His nap time was getting shorter and later everyday. And he is usually grumpy when he knows he is nearing that time because he knows he cannot do anything about it but sleep it off. Until now he does this. The thing is, we had hoped his sleeping habits would match ours, because honestly, it's plenty boring when he's asleep and we're awake.

Jakjak, Year One | 2006

Time flew by so fast that suddenly Jakjak was one year old. Who would have imagined that the 811 gram boy, born two months ahead of schedule would be this gorgeous, hyper-active, super-happy mighty mite!

Well, we certainly had high hopes and we had been praying for his recovery and catching up from day one. And God answered our prayers. And the prayers of all those who had prayed for Jakjak (and I know there are too many of you guys to thank in one simple blog - so Thank You!). All throughout the year, Jakjak had been going back to the doctors to check for any abnormality that may have come about due to his being pre-mature. His eyes in particular, had been checked more times than we would have liked. Believe me, the way it's been done, even if you know it's safe because of the clinic and the specialization of the doctor, if you were there while a little boy protested, you would have asked them to stop. But we knew it had to be done, and it's all for Jakjak's sake.

365 days later and he is up and about as normal as any boy half his age would be. Normal would be an understatement though. Because Jakjak had begun to speak in audible words, Jakjak had started walking and climbing up and down the stairs (to the worry of mum and dad of course), Jakjak had started to increase his attention span to listening and quite a bit more stuff that children older than him would have just started doing. 

And we knew all this to be gifts from God. And to thank Him for all his blessings, we celebrated Jakjak's first birthday with the less fortunate children of Little Angels Home, in Tagaytay City. Children who we had been caring for (in our own little way) since we found their little house tucked away in the hills, oblivious from the public eye. It was so low key (back then, anyway), that we had to slow down every time we went to visit as the turning point was hardly visible from the hi-way. One year of happiness for us, one day of happiness for these children. We want to even the odds some more one day.

This is the orphanage we have pledged to sponsor way back in 2001. We would have celebrated with family and friends, but these kids needed more of Jakjak's love. It was a small salo-salo (feast) with cake and balloons. A loot bag for the kids came with cookies, candies, juice and then some. We had lots of fun! And sharing the fun with these kids was worth all the effort (would you believe I was suffering from diarrhea the whole time). We thank everyone who was there and shared our blessings.

Chocolate Pudding | 2006

I honestly believe that I have graduated from being a beginner to a full-fledged father two nights ago.

 We were about to give Jakjak a shower (we take him with us for showers now). So I take off his shirt and diapers. Holding him with his arms locked to mine, and my other hand supporting his butt. At first there was this noise, "prrrrt-prrt", and I said "Jakjak, did you fart?". He gave me this oddball look and I thought to myself "Oh - sh!". Sure enough, poop comes rushing out of his butt and directly onto my palm. Surely, I was not about to drop him, so I make my way to the toilet and aim his butt-hole at the bowl. Apparently, he doesn't like toilets and begins to cry! Lo and behold, all his poop ends up in the palm of my hand!

I swear. That was a riveting experience that all fathers should be subject to.

Mommy Mei-Ann | 2006

My big sister had played a very big role in Jakjak's life. One that is very unlikely to be forgotten. And I'm sure deep inside Jakjak knows this. And if not, well, it's best that he knows how much her aunt, her god-mother and 'mommy' loves him.

My sister had been wanting to work overseas for quite some time. I guess, being a registered nurse, she felt the same way most nurses felt back home. Over-worked and under-paid. But for whatever reason, God has not given her the opportunity to do so. And when God does these kinds of things, you just know there's a reason for it. And when you think about it, and believe me, you won't have to think hard, you just have to look at Jakjak. And you remember how it all began, and you'll know just what God had planned.

Mommy Mei-ann had been working at Asian Hospital in Alabang, Muntinlupa when Judy had a, let's say, 'baby call'. And she had been there all the way to see us (Judy, me and Jakjak) through the whole having-a-baby thing. She taught us how to get things ready for the baby, she taught us how to take care of a baby and she made sure we were doing good during our time at the hospital.

Then out came Jakjak. And she was doing her part as head, of all places, the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit, which was Jakjak's first home out of his mum's womb. She watched over Jakjak and she made sure that every one of the nurses there that looked after Jakjak knew what they were doing. And we knew that Jakjak was in very good hands, because God sent angels to take care of him at a time that we could not. One of those angels, was my big sister. And when Jakjak was ready to go out into the world, my sister soon was given a new chapter in her family's life, and God whisked them away to Arizona. Given all that had happened, it was one of God's best laid plans for us. Which is why, there is no moment in our lives that we doubt His will over ours. And wherever Mommy Mei-ann is, you can be sure that God had sent his angels her way as well. We love you!

Up and About | 2006

Everybody knows that children learn the basics of life in due time. Babies learn to turn over his tummy from lying back side down. Then they learn to crawl and then they sit down and eventually, walk!

Apparently, nobody told Jakjak about the sequence of things. Sure, Jakjak learned to turn over from lying down. Which caused us extreme panic as he found it fun to roll over and over and fall off the bed. The second time he fell off, we decided it was not normal anymore and kept him in the crib even if he did not like it very much.

So, roll over, check. Next step, crawl. And crawl he did. Awkwardly at first. Falling face flat on the bed during the first few weeks. It's due to the fact (we reckon), that Jakjak has a big head which probably caused the imbalance. Of course, it never stopped him from learning and making crawling one of the fastest ways to get around the room.

Alright, crawl, check. Next step, sitting down. Now this is the part that nobody told Jakjak about. Because in the days that followed, Jakjak learned how to hoist himself up on his crib by grabbing the railings and pulling himself up. From there, he studied how to balance himself on two feet. And soon enough, he could move, he could walk. And even though he fell and bumped his head a number of times, it never stopped him from learning. Probably because he had something in mind ... like moving about to grab things that tickles his fancy (which is just about everything, actually).

So, walk, check. And then he finally learned to sit down.

Supermarket Frenzy | 2006

We loved doing the groceries when we were starting out. We used to have this magic list that contains the basic things we needed. This list magically doubles itself before getting to the cashier. It's possible that the simple pleasure we found in shopping has trickled down to a supermarket frenzy. Mostly though, the 'magic' list is usually made up of chips and chocolates, which makes the frenzy last over two aisles.


When Jakjak was big enough, he joined the frenzy as well. Initially, he only sat down inside the cart and messed around with the things that we put in. Soon enough, he was able to stand inside and reach out to the aisles. He managed to knock down a couple of biscuit boxes and chocolates before we pulled the cart off. And being as small as he was, he never liked sitting on the baby seat that's actually built in with the cart. What happens is he sits down face forward on his milk formula. This worked for a while until one time he couldn't move with all the groceries piled up inside the cart.

Jakjak is still part and will always be a part of our supermarket frenzy. It became a family affair that Jakjak looked forward to every once in a while. Especially when he learned how to walk and run about shouting in the supermarket (at the very least, you can easily find him if you manage to lose sight of him).

That Messy Pup | 2006

I am partly Obsessive Compulsive. I have the tendency to put things in order of their color. And I clean up and arrange my furniture at least once a week. My computer files are sorted by folders and file types and I do not burn CD's whose content are incomplete.

When Jakjak came into my life. He turned it topsy turvy and inside out! I now had to clean up everyday and re-arrange my furniture every hour. My notebook now had to be 4 feet high and placed on a very sturdy table. I go to the office everyday knowing that by the time I get home, the house would have been run over by a hurricane named Jakjak. I did that for the first few weeks, and I finally got tired and left it to fate, that I would never have my 'clean' life back until such time that Jakjak becomes aware.

Of course, I still cleaned up after his mess. Just not that often anymore. Every night before going to bed, we put away his toys, mop the floor and disinfect every nook and crany of the house. It's during this time that Jakjak is also learning how to walk with the help of a baby walker. Actually, walk is an understatement, because, he soon learned how to kick the floor and launch his walker forward (sometimes backwards, he has bad sense of direction back then). And this made spills look like lagoons, a clump of toys became 'hidden' treasure, and you never knew what surprise awaits you when you turn to a corner.

Nibblers | 2006

In close to six months, Jakjak grew his first set of teeth. Two front teeth from his bottom gum. Two weeks later, two more popped out on the top gum. That signaled the sign of a new era. Bite marks!

During his 'teething' period, Jakjak chewed on just about anything. His blanket, his stuffed dog named Mozzart, teethers that we bought for him, his crib and of course his mom and dad. Putting it aside, it was also the start of Jakjak eating real food. This brought a sigh of relief initially because I calculated how much we have been paying for high grade infant milk with all the letters of the alphabet thrown in the package. You know, vitamins A, B, C with Prebio 1 and AHD and all the acronyms you can think of. But hey, you get what you pay for because, Jakjak did grow up to be smart and tough, for a baby born at 811 grams.

Back to eating then. We have already introduced Jakjak to baby food even before he grew his teeth. He munched on carrots and squash (apparently, they did not server Gerber in potato chip flavor). He tried lots of different things when he was still just a few months old. So when he finally grew teeth and learned how to use them properly, he was eating cookies, fruits, vegetables and fish! Although, he did not eat most of the time as he just wanted to lick the flavors of the food that we give him. Which was a bit frustrating because we really wanted him to gain mass and weight. Still, the combination of milk and a healthy diet kept him fit and lively. And in the end, I didn't save anything at all, in fact, for the most part, I ended up paying more as he learned to enjoy organic baby food!

Daylight Saving Time | 2006

One of the scariest moments of my life ... is sleeping beside my baby boy.

He was as small as a puppy when we took him home from the hospital. He was so frail that his bones might fracture at the slightest tap. He was as baby as a baby could get. And I was a deep sleeper (still am, truth be told). Once I'm asleep, I don't feel anything. So you could imagine my fright if I had to put my son beside me when I sleep. But then again, we had to. Because he was such a baby, we could not let him stay in his own crib as he might cover himself up with his blanky and pillow. If I remember correctly, I could not sleep, but only for the first few days. After which, my body adjusted to being aware of him beside me. The only draw back was that with him between me and the wife, nooky times have been reduced by quite a bit.

Sleeping, however, did not mean at night. Because it took Jakjak a few weeks to get into a normal sleeping habit. As normal as babies go anyway. We have had to get up 3 to 4 times a night to feed and burp him. Sometimes I fall asleep while holding the baby bottle to his mouth. And there are times that you really, really wish that he would just burp so that you can put him back to sleep.

That was night time. And it's the same thing over again in the morning. So in order to get enough sleep, we sleep as much as we can when Jakjak is snoozing. Because that is usually the only time we can rest. The day is filled with cleaning the bottles, cleaning the poo, making the bed, preparing the milk and holding him just because.

When he's sleeping soundly in bed, that's when we look at him. Observing as much as we can about the little things about him. Little things that make Jakjak, a Jakjak. And each of those things make us smile. Even if we see mostly the same thing everyday. Sometimes, we have to pinch ourselves to make sure that we are awake, and that the boy in our arms, is our Jakjak.

Bath 101 | 2006

At first, we thought Jakjak would be like other kids who are afraid to take baths. It turns out, it was the other way around. It was me who was afraid to give him a bath. When he was still as tiny as hamster (OK, maybe a guinea pig), it was fine as we just sponge him while he was in a baby tub. As he grew bigger, the tub grew smaller and he just won't fit properly anymore. So we had to get him one of those sitting chairs for baths. And he liked it.

So what was so scary about that? For one thing, it takes a bit of effort to get him sat down and locked tight. And of course, he becomes as slippery as a greased pig when he's bathing. Then there's the part that he wriggles out of your hands trying to get one thing or another (he had a whole family of rubber duckies when he bathes). He actually slipped out of my hands at one time and almost fell in the sink. Thank goodness he has a guardian angel keeping him safe all the time.

My wife, being my wife, had a complete set of bath stuff. Baby shampoo, baby liquid soap, baby toothpaste, baby scrub, baby lotion, baby oil and everything else that comes in between. If it was me, soap and water would have done just about the same thing. In fact, a garden hose would probably have done the same job, but then again, smelling like a leaf might not be such a good thing for a baby.

And as time passed by, we found out that Jakjak actually loved having baths. Then again, it could have been his excuse to make a lot of mess without it being his fault.

Jump Start | 2006

There was a time I remember that Jakjak had been in hyper-mode. Not quite what I expected from a premature baby. He'd been eating a LOT! and I mean a lot. I don't know if I'm just not familiar with how babies eat, but from my point of view, a 30-minute eating interval is a lot of eating. We've bought a good deal of baby food for him those past few months, he's tasted every flavor imaginable and none of it has gone to waste. He's been eating (baby-sized of course) adobo, sinigang, menudo, mechado, fried chicken, french fries, spaghetti, pancit canton and every other food that we (Judy and I) eat. If he could grab his spoon properly, he'd probably had been sitting on a chair beside me at the dining table!

According to the book about babies that my wife, Judy, had been reading, Jakjak should be able to crawl, creep and begin to sit up at his corrected age of 6 months. At real time, he was already walking. Maybe because he gets frustrated at times when it takes too long for him to get to where he wants to be. Of course, he does his walking with the aid of a baby walker, but hey, even that's an improvement.

Actually, he had been frustrated for a long time about not being able to do much. He always turned over from his position in bed every chance he got. He always tried to roll away to get anywhere. He had his fair share of falling from the bed (the first time it happened was barely 3 months when we took him home from the hospital). In fact, we had almost given up trying to watch over him and just put bars in every nook and cranny of the house.

Homegrown Fun | 2006

I've always believed that children are best served warm. I know because I've managed to take care of two nieces and a nephew for quite a bit. Of course, those were just like babysitting and not really parenthood. But it was a good start, and it became a test bed for me and my wife before we received a gift of our own.

So we learned how to change diapers, bathe him, clothe him properly (you wouldn't believe how much trouble side-tie baby shirts are!), feed him, put him to bed and all the basic things to keep a baby alive. And those are just what they are, basic. And once you get through basic training, you find that you yearn for more, because you get rewarded for your efforts (this may vary by age, but I don't have the funds for a scientific study yet).

On the intermediate level, you get to have fun. You get to be interactive. You get to be frustrated. You get to be exhausted. You get to be a parent. It becomes so excruciatingly tiresome most of the time. There are times you just want to hang your hat and call it a day. There are times that your everyday life becomes so tangled up between work, home, friends and family that you lose your mind. And then I look at the boy. He gives me that cute little smile. A giggle, a laugh. And all of it goes back to you. Your mind becomes whole and everything makes sense. That life is a boy named Jakjak and a wife named Judy.

Preeclampsia and Me | 2006

November 2005 has got to be the scariest and most restless days of my life.


"Pre-eclampsia is a disorder that occurs only during pregnancy and the postpartum period and affects both the mother and the unborn baby. Affecting at least 5-8% of all pregnancies, it is a rapidly progressive condition characterized by high blood pressure and the presence of protein in the urine. Swelling, sudden weight gain, headaches and changes in vision are important symptoms." 


More information at http://www.preeclampsia.org 


It was a Thursday. November 10, 2005. It had been 3 days since our last visit to our OB Gynecologist and it had been 3 days that we found out that her Blood Pressure (BP) had shot up to 150/100. This was high. And since it had been 3 days with medication that had passed and her BP had not resided yet, we decided to go and get confined at the hospital (which apparently, should have been the first thing we had done). Upon admission, her BP shot up to a new high of 200/110. The new OB at the hospital had given her shots of anti-hypertensive and anti-biotics to get her BP down to manageable levels. They also gave her Magnesium (something-something), which my wife said hurt like hell. She told me it was like having your insides burning up. It took more than 2 days of medication and observation to pull her BP back down to an acceptable 150/100 but it was still not low enough to warrant a discharge. Hence, we had been in the hospital for more than a week under constant monitoring and medication and complete bed rest for my wife and baby.


Monday, November 21, 2005. After a few more tests, the OB said that the baby is doing good. Everything is normal for him except of course him being pre-term. It was my wife that was still unstable at that moment. And if she still did not come down from her preeclamptic state, they were going to have to terminate the pregnancy and deliver the baby, whether we liked it or not. 

The good news (it was news, but I wouldn't have thought of it as good) about it is that I already knew what to expect. A pre-term baby at 28 weeks who has at least grown all the proper organs would probably survive as long as he's taken care of properly. The bad news is, it's still not an assurance that he will survive. At the very least, my wife and baby would have been out of direct danger at the same time. 


One of the things I remember on our first day was the doctor asking me:


"If your wife's condition does not improve within 24 hours, we will have to terminate the pregnancy. At this point (27 weeks), the baby's chances for survival are very small. The only way to save them both is to deliver the baby pre-term. In case we deliver and the baby's lungs have not yet developed, you have to decide if he should be revived, with a very small chance of survival, or let him go. What will it be?" 


I could not say anything at that point. A hundred million thoughts were running through my mind, yet none of those thoughts were making any sense. This is my first baby. And this has got to be the scenario I would not want to go through ever again. Up to now, I still don't know what I would have answered to that question.

Welcoming | 2006

Jakjak's Baptism. 

Growing up with Catholic parents, we were taught the values and ways of being, well, Catholics. And being Catholic means that one has to go through Baptism. It's like, rights of passage. A sort of, welcome to the Christian world.

And so it was Jakjak's turn. The thing is, baptisms have been affiliated with big parties, kilometer long banquets, 100+ guest lists and booze. Unfortunately, going this route will easily ramp up my current deficit by three fold. On the other hand, we did skimp on 'extravagance' once before in our life. Our super-secret wedding, so to speak, was reserved for a strict number of guests. So we figured that perhaps this one, for Jakjak's sake, we would give it a bit of a stretch.

Of course, we still wised up and kept spending to a minimum. But even so, we did what we could to keep everything in check. We managed to get the guest list done, making sure we got people we knew very well and would make great friends for Jakjak. We managed to rent out a place that is good for a reception, not flashy, not cheap, and yet was big enough to accommodate our guest list. We managed to trim down cost of the food and amenities by asking relatives for their 'gifts'. We also trimmed down expenses on give aways by making them ourselves. In short, we had an enriching event without being poorer (not by much anyway).

And so it was that Jakjak had been welcomed to the Roman Catholic world. With a little help from mummy, daddy, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles and a few close relatives. But he is here, for whatever reason, because of Him. And for that, we are truly grateful.

Starting Smart | 2006

One day after coming home from work, I decided to read to my son. There was this sing along book that we had bought for him some time ago. Apparently, it had no instructions and the melody was shape and color coded for each page. With no prior singing skills, I sang the songs with all my heart. I was gratified with a smile from my child. 

With years of knowing that I have a defective talent in singing, I managed to bring together something as close to a song (hmmn, rhyme is more like it) as possible. So now I am proud to say that I have two die hard fans in case I pursue a singing career. They would be my wife (had to help clean the bleeding in her ears though) and my baby boy (great kid, knows art when he hears it).

Milk 101 | 2006

When I was watching movies about families (yes, that includes E.T.), I've always thought at the back of my mind of how it would be like to become a dad. Twenty or so years later, and I am one. Frankly speaking, it's not all it was hyped up to be.

Sure, there's waking up in the wee hours of the morning to feed the little bugger. In the earliest of days, I woke up more than once. I wake up, still half asleep, make milk and put him on my lap to be fed. No, I did not breast feed my son, but he did try to lick it once, I guess he didn't like it as much as his mum's. So anyway, sometimes I fall asleep while feeding him, but since I've made it this far, I guess I did a fair enough job. And of course, after feeding, I had to put him upright and wait for him to burp before I had a chance to get back to sleep myself.

Then there's changing the diapers every now and then. This was not so much of a problem and I easily mastered this part. But then, there's cleaning up the poo. Sure, he's on disposable diapers. But even diapers could not mask the stench ... errr ... smell, of processed dairy products. And this happens in the morning, noon and night. The first time I did this, I used about half the container of cotton balls that we had prepared the night before. When I became a 'pro', I only had to use seven! But there was nothing you could do about the smell, and this was even worse when we were out of the house visiting relatives and doctors or just strolling at the mall.

Needless to say, babies also tend to smell not so good if you don't give him a bath. And this is another one of those daddy-must-learn-how-to-do things. For fear of having Jakjak drown in his bath tub (you have to remember, he was very small) we gave him a bath in the kitchen sink. No kidding. Our sink had dish washing liquid, sponge, liquid baby soap and a bottle cleaner. Thankfully, he grew too big for the sink soon enough and we were able to give him a proper bath in the baby tub. And while mum is drying him off, dad is cleaning the puddles of water Jakjak managed to displace while bathing (I swear, he's like a 5.0L V6 petrol engine in displacement).

That covers the basics, I think of the horrors that dads have to face. And it's just fair to remember that fatherhood goes on top of whatever lifestyle I once had. So I go to work full time at the office as an employee and I go to work full time at home as a dad. Like I said, it was not all it was hyped up to be. But the happiness and contentment of being one, especially if you've been blessed with a hyper-sonic, hyper-active super boy like Jakjak, is something I would not trade for the other life I thought I would have had (a rich playboy driving a black BMW Z4 in his prime).

Small Doses of Happiness | 2006

My first Official Duty at the local nursery (read: our house) was the 23rd of January 2006. 

So what happened back then? 

Jakjak snorts, I look if he's ok. Jakjak whines, so I look if he's ok. Jakjak stretches, so I look if he's ok. Jakjak kicks, so I look if he's ok. Jakjak wakes up and looks around, so I look if he's ok. This went  on for quite some time until he finally broke out a cry and I got to feed him at 2 in the morning. 15 minutes later, he was lying face down on my tummy (I guess he likes water beds) and I wait on him to burp. Another good 15 minutes later he does, and he's asleep. So I laid him back down on the bed. This sequence happens three times a night (or should I say, 3 times early morning). 

And so in the morning, he goes about his routine of waking up, sleeping, snorting, kicking, stretching and whining. And then he smiles. What else was he doing before that smile? I forgot.

In God's Perfect Time | 2006

I tried not to think about it much because it was not a pretty sight. But remembering it makes you realize how much you wanted someone so badly that you would have given everything to hold him and take him home. 

Jakjak had been in the hospital's Neonatal ICU when he was born back in 2005. The hospital being a little more than 24 km away, and myself having to work, we had done as much as we could save from sleeping at the NICU. From a measly 811 grams at birth he grew into 1.202 kg in a month. He started with 8 cc of breastmilk and climbed to 25 cc. From being fed through a tube directly patched to his stomach, he moved on to being bottle fed. From a skin and bones baby, he suddenly had cheeks!

We were only able to spend an hour or so everyday with him while he was incubated. But just watching him sleep and breathe gave me inexplicable happiness. Whenever he sighed or moved his hands around, it gave me unparalleled joy. You only appreciate the mystery of life once you have given the miracle of life. You will start to notice every single thing and ask questions about life. 


We had asked for a child of our own. And we were given one. The start of it all had been a little rough. But love and patience (a whole lot of it) had paid off and we were able to take him home after almost 2 months in Intensive Care. We thank all the nurses and doctors who took care of our son when he was there. You are all God's angels.

Family Three | 2006

Look closely and you'll see another head popping up from under the sheets. She's a little girl named Ayaka. She's actually my wife's cousin from the land of the rising sun. She's been with us when she was about 5 years old and up until Jakjak was born.

We became her parents while she was with us. We took care of her like she was our own. We had good times together. And she was a blessing to us because having her prepared us for the storm that was to come. That storm had a name. And it's name is 'Jakjak'. And sometimes, this storm is more than a storm, he can turn into a hurricane from time to time. And when worse comes to worst, it's like a tsunami!

But it's fine. Because Aya was the same. In fact, they are so alike that Jakjak seems to have taken after her 'ate' (big sister). He's gotten her charm, her big-bigheartedness, her joyous nature and her kind disposition. It was like we drafted Jakjak from Ayaka. It was one of the best things that Jakjak got.

Those days are gone now. Ayaka has gone back to her parents. And our family of four, is now a family of three. Still, the memories are more than enough to make us smile and imagine our lives if she still lived with us as Jakjak's ate.

Mommy | 2005

Being a dad does not just mean having a child. Being a dad also calls for being a better husband. Better, in the sense that the responsibilities one has towards his partner, has now changed. And these changes are not like oh-you-changed-the-color-of-your-hair types of changes. It's much deeper than that. If one is prepared for fatherhood, then it should be a normal transition. If not, well, the floodgates of hell will open up and swallow both parents (Ok, so maybe it won't swallow them all in one go).


I remember back when Judy was in her first trimester. She no longer had PMS (which, I initially thought was a relief). But she had these cravings typical of pregnant women. She did not go through the length of letting me go out at night to get these, but she did bug me about them until she went to sleep. Some of her cravings then were:

1. Watermelons

2. Shrimp (fried)

3. Shrimp (sinigang)

4. Crabs (rebosado)

5. Crabs (with gata)

6. Arrozcaldo

7. Strawberries

8. Siopao (Kowloon)

9. Jimini Pizza

10. Shakey's thin crust pizza

11. Inihaw na Tilapia

12. Halo-halo ni Chato

13. Pansit ng naglalako sa street namin at 1 PM (apparently, another one vends at around 2 PM)

14. Kwek-kwek

15. Pandesal de Pugon

16. Royal Carribean Jamaican Patties (beef jerky, from the branch near ATC cinema and nowhere else)

So at the end of the day, Jakjak is probably made up of any combination of these food types. 

Jakjak Versus The Hospital | 2005

Premature babies often had big problems that come along with them being, well, premature. And one of the biggest challenges on the day they were about to get my son out was this thing called surfactant. It's a "surface-active lipoprotein complex formed by type II alveolar cells" (thank you Wikipedia!). In short, it's a very expensive product that is used to help premature babies with undeveloped lungs to - err - develop their lungs. Apparently, this thing is very hard to come by as most hospitals do not keep this in stock (because it's expensive). Luckily, my big sister had a lot of contacts from her previous work and managed to "reserve" one unit from that hospital, which just in case, was about 30+ kilometers away. And Jakjak, being blessed from the start, had no need for the surfactant at all.

So, Jakjak = 1, Hospital = 0.

Next up on the "common things that happen to premature babies" list, Jaundice. Jaundice is "also known as icterus (attributive adjective: icteric), is a yellowish discoloration of the skin, the conjunctival membranes over the scelare (whites of the eyes), and other mucous membranes caused by hyperbilirubinemia (increased levels of bilirubin in the blood)" (Thanks again, Wikipedia!). In other words, Jakjak was turning yellow. And the way it was treated was to wrap the baby in aluminum foil and bake him inside his glass cage. Well, it was the cage that was wrapped in foil, and high heat lamps were directed inside of it. So it was sort of like baking the skin. 

Jakjak = 1. Hospital = 1.

Next thing I was told that a blood transfusion needed to be done on Jakjak. He was not my blood type so we had to  borrow blood from the blood bank (pretty creepy setup if you ask me). But it was not all that bad, I had the option to replace the blood used using my own. After getting clearance that my blood was not from a vampire, they stuck a 5 inch long and hollow needle and drained some 500cc of blood. If it was not for the Manny Paqiuao fight that day, I think I would have fainted (I am scared silly of blood). So I think this one is a draw.

Jakjak = 2. Hospital = 2.

That was not the end of it however, as the next few days, we found out he had hernia. Hernia is a protrusion of a tissue, structure, or part of an organ through the muscle tissue or the membrane by which it is normally contained. The hernia has three parts: the orifice through which it herniates, the hernial sac, and its contents (Yes, it's from Wikipedia). In other words, his "balls" were screwed. An operation was scheduled, 6 months after birth. If you can imagine me in that situation where I had to subject my 6 month old son to a major surgery, you would not have been happy about it either. Those were the days that I wished it was me and not him.

Jakjak = 2. Hospital = 3.

The scores are tallied and it seems that we lost this battle. But the war is not over! We shall return and fight another day! (queue megalomaniacal laughter here)

Name Calling | 2005

Even before Jakjak was born, Judy and I have already been thinking about what name to give him. Of course, at the time, we did not even have a clue on what gender the baby would be. So she had her list of names and I had my list of names. In the end though, none of it mattered because when Jakjak was born, we still had no idea what name to give him. This was the case until the birth certificate had to be filed. We would not have wanted his birth certificate to read "Dad and Mum's Baby", and I don't think he would have liked it at all as well. In the end, Jakjak kind of gave us what name he wanted. A blessing.

Matthew Jaeger.
Matthew meant gift of God. And Jaeger meant, well, it's complicated.
Here was my short list of possible names.

If it's a boy: 

• Malakas (strong) - very Filipino, although I doubt if my son would consider it. 
• Makoto - very Japanese, although fellow Pinoys might refer to him as ma-"kuto" (lice). 
• Wolfgang Zachary - cool sounding name - I just hope he doesn't turn out to be gay. 

If it's a girl: 

• Maganda (beautiful) - naturally, the opposite gender of Malakas, though she might dis-own me in the future. 
• Maho - Japanese name I picked up in an Anime, sounds too much like "mabaho" (foul smell) though so it might not work. 
• Michael - I like a boy's name for a girl ... of course, it might be different for her though.

Capital Investment | 2005

Ask anyone in the money industry and they will tell you that investments are risk propositions. 

Is it the same then, when you invest in someones life or future?

In some ways, it is. But, this is an investment that you will not think about twice. Life is precious, and you lose nothing when you invest in it because your material investments cannot amount to even half of how much ones life is worth. Considering I was hoping to get a convertible sports car if me and the wife never had a child (and I had the go signal from the wife, too!), I gave it up the moment I bought a pregnancy test kit (which was a pretty cheap alternative to buying a convertible). 

You know, one of the most difficult questions I was asked to consider was: "When worse comes to worst, you will have to choose between the mother and the baby". I paused thinking if what I heard was correct. I looked up. I prayed. And I asked God to do the thinking for me. A few hours later, they never asked me that question. What they did ask me though was: "Where's your camera?".

It was my son's first moment and I had no camera! But considering that I was in the hospital for days waiting for my wife's blood pressure to let up, having been told that the baby was about to come out some 2 months earlier, having been asked to deposit for the hospital bill and being asked to prepare for the worst, I think I can be forgiven for not having a camera handy during my son's delivery.

And so, that was day one. To this day, I'm still paying up for the hospital bill. It was a risk, yes. It was an investment, yes. And it's all worth it. This is not a capital investment, this is an extension of my life. And convertible sports car or not, this is the life that I chose to live.

Labour Day | 2005

February 14. Valentine's Day. Everyone is excited for, then "Mum and Dad's Baby". All four grandparents are ready with camera in hand and smiles passed around for everyone. The delivery room door opens ever so slowly (like in the movies) and the doctor comes out with a smile on his face as he removes his face mask. 

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Unfortunately, that's not Jakjak's moment of birth. Although the doctor gave an estimate that Jakjak will be born on the 14th of February, he was too excited and came out two months earlier. Do the math and we come to Jakjak's birthday, the 24th of November. Born via C-section at a featherweight 811 grams. Of course, all this to the shock of mum and dad who were not expecting him until his due date.

Yes, Jakjak was a premature baby boy at only 28 weeks. He was so fragile that he had to be in Neonatal Intensive Care as soon as he got out. From day 1, he was strong as an ox and stubborn as a bull. From the doctors' and nurses' point of view, he was a pretty good fighter and they told me that his chances for recovery were quite big. Of course, they all could have just told me that because I was the father of a ti-nee-tiny baby boy who was as thin as bones. Add to that the fact that this was our first baby. And also probably because my sister was a nurse at the NICU facility in Asian Hospital back then.

Believe me. For a first time dad, seeing your first-born in that state of helplessness is not the best memory of your baby's childhood.