He was as small as a puppy when we took him home from the hospital. He was so frail that his bones might fracture at the slightest tap. He was as baby as a baby could get. And I was a deep sleeper (still am, truth be told). Once I'm asleep, I don't feel anything. So you could imagine my fright if I had to put my son beside me when I sleep. But then again, we had to. Because he was such a baby, we could not let him stay in his own crib as he might cover himself up with his blanky and pillow. If I remember correctly, I could not sleep, but only for the first few days. After which, my body adjusted to being aware of him beside me. The only draw back was that with him between me and the wife, nooky times have been reduced by quite a bit.
Sleeping, however, did not mean at night. Because it took Jakjak a few weeks to get into a normal sleeping habit. As normal as babies go anyway. We have had to get up 3 to 4 times a night to feed and burp him. Sometimes I fall asleep while holding the baby bottle to his mouth. And there are times that you really, really wish that he would just burp so that you can put him back to sleep.
That was night time. And it's the same thing over again in the morning. So in order to get enough sleep, we sleep as much as we can when Jakjak is snoozing. Because that is usually the only time we can rest. The day is filled with cleaning the bottles, cleaning the poo, making the bed, preparing the milk and holding him just because.
When he's sleeping soundly in bed, that's when we look at him. Observing as much as we can about the little things about him. Little things that make Jakjak, a Jakjak. And each of those things make us smile. Even if we see mostly the same thing everyday. Sometimes, we have to pinch ourselves to make sure that we are awake, and that the boy in our arms, is our Jakjak.
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