Handling Toddler-dom

Jakjak asked to be brought to a play place in Terminal 3. It's actually just a toy store, but they have a Tomica playset on display that kids can play with. It looks like you would have to buy your Tomica car from the shop to play with on the track, and that was proving to be an expensive hobby. So this time, we decided to bring our own (properly labeled with Jakjak's name at the bottom, just in case).

It's not a difficult place to play in, just that sometimes, kids think that the cars are free to play with. With Jakjak however, things can get different.

He is six years old now, and we think that he is mature enough to think on his own. He probably is, because he had been quite nice in dealing with his peers even a few years back. He is quite happy to share his toys if he feels like it (we probably already lost quite a number of his toys this way), and is quick to tell other kids off when they snatch things away from him. He doesn't get mad, nor does he get into fights like some children do when they get intimidated. He simply asks for his toy back explaining that it's his. If they don't give it back, he puts a little force in taking it back, and then cools off by bringing the toy back to me (or mum) and we walk away for a few minutes. Later on, he's back playing merrily like nothing happened.

We do think that there are instances that kids grow up faster than others and that there are stages in their lives that they live through as "kids". With Jakjak, we just think that he may have skipped that stage of being a "me" person. Ok, maybe not 100%. But when he was at that stage, it was brief, and it was mostly only to us (you know, he just takes things from mum and dad and won't share things with us - which he does not do too often to others). Oh, and his cousin, but we always figured he was just getting back at him for all the quarrels that they had.

Bringing kids up can be an interesting journey. And while there are no right or wrong ways to bring up children (this is subjective, of course), there are methods that work for different types of children. It's the parents' job to find which works and which doesn't. And this can be a very tedious process as these methods have variations and may only work at certain times. It's frustrating at times, but very rewarding once you get the hang of it.

We did our best not to hold back on Jakjak as best as we can with toys and the like. This was governed by a couple of things. Would he learn something from it? Is it worth the price? Would he grow with it? Would dad have fun with it when Jakjak is not using it? We usually scratch that last criteria. Honest. So, even if we went to toy stores and look at the toys (we even spend good to a few minutes testing the sample units), we don't normally buy toys. On occasion, Jakjak would come back to the same toy for a couple of visits, that is usually a sign that he really, really likes something. That's when we buy. In time, he got used to not buying toys. And because of that attitude, he started to treat receiving toys as a surprise, and he became more appreciative of things at the same time. We had just taught him about gratitude, and we didn't even know it.

The Observer

I'm sitting here tonight on one corner of the "Oasis", a water playground for kids. And I'm just here observing, watching over Jakjak as he makes himself, well, wet.

It wasn't that long ago when Jakjak was first let off a water feature from a mall back home. That was at Market Market. He would be running around in his diapers until it got so wet and heavy that it falls off on it's own. That was some four years ago. All through the years after that, he still loves the water. Whether swimming, wading, splashing or even just misting.

His love for water aside, I am also observing how far he has grown. He is taller, albeit still not as plump as we would want him to be. It's not a bad thing though, in fact, it's good that his metabolism is better than expected. He burns energy as quickly as he stores it. He has the efficiency of a well oiled machine.

Being a well oiled machine though, he seems to be prone to accidents. Perhaps he has excess oils that contribute to his carelessness. We are not without giving him warning every time. He is just ... forgetful and un-mindful of the things going on around him. Carelessness aside though, he is  a very active little bugger. He runs, skips, jumps, climbs, crawls and contorts every which way. He is definitely no slouch and neither is he a sloth. He may be good enough to be in a circus to be honest.

The way he thinks is not what we expected. He is quite good at remembering things. Whether it is something he saw or something he heard, he would be able to recall it and even put up an argument if we were the ones who forgot. Speaking of arguments, he is one who uses logic and reason. Coupled with his memory, it's nearly impossible to bend the "rules", let alone change it completely. At least he knows right from wrong, and even with an argument, respect and understanding always manages to keep his world in order (and ours too). Thankfully, all this looks to be the making of a lawyer or a philospher. Hopefully. Maybe.

The most important thing for us however, is the way he expresses his emotions. He's not afraid to speak out and let us know what's happening inside him. There are reservations at times, and he don't always say it out loud, but he confides a lot of things with mum, which is good. And at the end of the day, a good conversation with Jakjak over a cup of milk is sure to be insightful at the least. Of course, conversations with Jakjak usually last for hours as he never seems to run out of things to say.

When Kids Do Battle | 2012

I guess you could say that in my mind, it was a matter of "when" and not "if", Jakjak gets into a confrontation.


No, he isn't one to start "battles" out of the blue. In fact, he is a kind soul that looks out for kids that appear to be younger (or smaller) than him.


And then there are those times that he gets caught up in playing with other kids. That's the time that he forgets how strong he can be. I have not trained him in martial arts while he was young, so I guess you can blame me (partly, please) for his unconstrained fighting powers. This is because we decided not to introduce him to any kind of violence as he was growing up. We preferred Maisy Mouse to Tom & Jerry. But as hard as we tried, we knew that he would get exposed to other media sooner or later. And with a rather rowdy cousin who dreams of fighting in the army, well, that came sooner than we had hoped.

After some Ben 10s, Transformers, CSIs and Law & Order SVUs, he had been on the action oriented side of the fence. He is on defense though, rather than offense, but it doesn't change the fact that he is rather strong for his age. Especially with that flame foam sword he weilds occasionally. I thought that I could contain it within the confines of the "danger room" (a.k.a. our house), but as kids play to be social, it didn't stay confined. It is controlled mayhem most of the time. At least until Jakjak or one of the other kids take playing hero too seriously.


Jakjak had never been in a real fight. We do get some kids telling us that he had hurt them, but after a thorough investigation, evidence only leads to play related accidents. He (or the other kid) apolgizes and off they go again to play. This is what happened one day when he got dropped off from the school bus. Apparently, he managed to hurt one his bus-mates as they were playing.


We always tell Jakjak to apologize to others if he has not done so (he forgets, sometimes). And he is quick to apologize in real time as well if he is aware that he had done something wrong. We impart him with wisdom on what action to choose in difficult situations. But he is still just 6 years old, and he will act like a 6 year old. With guidance from mum and dad, he does look like he is growing up with more responsibility. That is of course, except when he is investigating a crime scene or chasing off chupacabras.

posted from Bloggeroid

Has Dad Grown Up? | 2011

There was an anime festival today. And I'm an anime fan. Sort of. It could be that I "was" an anime fan. I still watch anime when I can, and I still sing along to the Voltes V opening theme song when I hear it. But I am no longer up to date with the newer anime types. Somehow, I'm not as interested with the lot of them, not as much as I used to anyway (I had my Gundam series complete before it even finished airing in the local cable channels).

I don't really think that I have outgrown that part of my life. I just shifted priorities, and anime is not on the top of my list anymore. Photography, for one, has taken over my list of hobbies. Cars have also taken a back seat since I lost my ride when we decided to settle in Singapore.


We have adapted to a new way of life in a short span of time. Sacrifices had to be made here and there, which is paving the way for a more grown up family. At least we try to be grown up. You see, children will not understand the things that we parents need to engage in at the back of the stage. We laugh, we live, we enjoy when we can. And when we must, we endure. These things don't matter to Jakjak. What matters to him is us being together and having fun. So all the pencil pushing, calculator bashing, blueprinting and planning happen while Jakjak is busy with something else.


Sometimes it does get a bit stressful. And when he's not careful, Jakjak sometimes gets a blunt of the chaos. Accidentally of course. But it's not something he does on a daily basis (nor is it something that I do everyday as well). It is a necessary something that you wish you didn't have to do. But it's there, a minor annoyance (like a lump of pork stuck between your teeth), buy it's there. All you can do really, is to kick it in the butt and take control. There's just no other way around it.

Next Stop ... Up! | 2007

So now your child can walk. Hurrah! It's a  milestone in his life, and a mark of good parenting on your part, right? For the most part, I would say yes. The question is what role did you play in getting him there? 

I have to admit, I wish I had more time to spend with Jakjak to teach him new stuff. But work and chores get in the way. Still, when you look back on it, you realize that children absorb things like a sponge. They learn from their mistakes (unlike some stubborn adults) and make the necessary adjustments to keep themselves from falling. I have also noticed that their drive to achieve something is far more persistent than an adult. It may look mundane to us the goals that children at this age (one +) want to achieve (get up and walk, reach the glass of water, make a mess, etc.), but then you have to realize that their goals at that point is learning the basics.

So now your child can walk. Now what? Well, to give you a better picture, we have a rather large and empty living room which gives Jakjak loads of room to play and roll and crawl all over. Our bedroom however, is on the 2nd floor some dozen or so steps away. So in the instant that you decide to take a break, he'll notice you're going up the stairs. And he decides to follow. The designated stair-watcher has to be alert when he does this and re-direct his attention to something else. But there came a time when diversion didn't work anymore. So it was like learning how to walk all over again.

Every time Jakjak decides to go on the stairs, you have to be there and wait on him, guide him and clap your hands every step he manages to cleverly take. Believe me, this took a while (and quite a bit of time). Imagine more than five minutes to get up a flight of steps. And that's not yet including the way down. We let him have a go at it because in the end, he will do it anyway. It's either this, or get a lift built into the house.

On some days, after he finally got the hang of it, he would go up half way, call onto us through the railings and give that wonderfully sweet smile of his. We smile back at him with a reminder to be careful, but what he does not see is dad's heart beating twice as fast as normal hoping that he would remember to hold on to the railings and get up or down safely.

Up and About | 2006

Everybody knows that children learn the basics of life in due time. Babies learn to turn over his tummy from lying back side down. Then they learn to crawl and then they sit down and eventually, walk!

Apparently, nobody told Jakjak about the sequence of things. Sure, Jakjak learned to turn over from lying down. Which caused us extreme panic as he found it fun to roll over and over and fall off the bed. The second time he fell off, we decided it was not normal anymore and kept him in the crib even if he did not like it very much.

So, roll over, check. Next step, crawl. And crawl he did. Awkwardly at first. Falling face flat on the bed during the first few weeks. It's due to the fact (we reckon), that Jakjak has a big head which probably caused the imbalance. Of course, it never stopped him from learning and making crawling one of the fastest ways to get around the room.

Alright, crawl, check. Next step, sitting down. Now this is the part that nobody told Jakjak about. Because in the days that followed, Jakjak learned how to hoist himself up on his crib by grabbing the railings and pulling himself up. From there, he studied how to balance himself on two feet. And soon enough, he could move, he could walk. And even though he fell and bumped his head a number of times, it never stopped him from learning. Probably because he had something in mind ... like moving about to grab things that tickles his fancy (which is just about everything, actually).

So, walk, check. And then he finally learned to sit down.

Nibblers | 2006

In close to six months, Jakjak grew his first set of teeth. Two front teeth from his bottom gum. Two weeks later, two more popped out on the top gum. That signaled the sign of a new era. Bite marks!

During his 'teething' period, Jakjak chewed on just about anything. His blanket, his stuffed dog named Mozzart, teethers that we bought for him, his crib and of course his mom and dad. Putting it aside, it was also the start of Jakjak eating real food. This brought a sigh of relief initially because I calculated how much we have been paying for high grade infant milk with all the letters of the alphabet thrown in the package. You know, vitamins A, B, C with Prebio 1 and AHD and all the acronyms you can think of. But hey, you get what you pay for because, Jakjak did grow up to be smart and tough, for a baby born at 811 grams.

Back to eating then. We have already introduced Jakjak to baby food even before he grew his teeth. He munched on carrots and squash (apparently, they did not server Gerber in potato chip flavor). He tried lots of different things when he was still just a few months old. So when he finally grew teeth and learned how to use them properly, he was eating cookies, fruits, vegetables and fish! Although, he did not eat most of the time as he just wanted to lick the flavors of the food that we give him. Which was a bit frustrating because we really wanted him to gain mass and weight. Still, the combination of milk and a healthy diet kept him fit and lively. And in the end, I didn't save anything at all, in fact, for the most part, I ended up paying more as he learned to enjoy organic baby food!

Jump Start | 2006

There was a time I remember that Jakjak had been in hyper-mode. Not quite what I expected from a premature baby. He'd been eating a LOT! and I mean a lot. I don't know if I'm just not familiar with how babies eat, but from my point of view, a 30-minute eating interval is a lot of eating. We've bought a good deal of baby food for him those past few months, he's tasted every flavor imaginable and none of it has gone to waste. He's been eating (baby-sized of course) adobo, sinigang, menudo, mechado, fried chicken, french fries, spaghetti, pancit canton and every other food that we (Judy and I) eat. If he could grab his spoon properly, he'd probably had been sitting on a chair beside me at the dining table!

According to the book about babies that my wife, Judy, had been reading, Jakjak should be able to crawl, creep and begin to sit up at his corrected age of 6 months. At real time, he was already walking. Maybe because he gets frustrated at times when it takes too long for him to get to where he wants to be. Of course, he does his walking with the aid of a baby walker, but hey, even that's an improvement.

Actually, he had been frustrated for a long time about not being able to do much. He always turned over from his position in bed every chance he got. He always tried to roll away to get anywhere. He had his fair share of falling from the bed (the first time it happened was barely 3 months when we took him home from the hospital). In fact, we had almost given up trying to watch over him and just put bars in every nook and cranny of the house.