Horsing Around | 2007

Jakjak has always shown a fascination for animals. I think most kids have. His books introduced him to the different kinds of animals, but then, I don't believe children would really understand what these animals are until they see them. 

The first animal that we probably introduce to our kids are our pets. They may be dogs, cats, fish, hamsters or even snakes (although I don't really recommend introducing your python to a 1 1/2 year old child). By then, he would show interest because, well, they're different from him. Admit it,a horse with his personal belongings hanging out from his underside would be a very shocking sight to a small boy. But with kids, feeding their curiosity in the right way will make them appreciate, or at least understand the things around them.

Whenever Jakjak sees something he has never seen before, he asks, "Dad, what's that?". And we always tell him what it is in as simple as possible. And when he comes across something that we have taught him before, he becomes excited and points it out "Dad, look! It's our car!", or "Dad, it's a van!". Sometimes what he sees are just similar, but not necessarily the same. And when this happens, we correct him slightly and explain the difference. I reckon, baby talk only works until the child learns to talk. When he is talking concrete words, it's time to upgrade the way you talk to him as well. We talk to Jakjak now as normal as the words he can understand. And it has so far enhanced his vocabulary and understanding.

Potty Training 101 | 2007

When you get tired of changing diapers and wiping baby buns off your baby, you get the idea that it's time for potty training.

We had this knack for buying books at a book sale. We got pretty good deals on children's books from them and we have found a story book on potty training. Luckily, Jakjak was a story book lover as well. So after a few rounds of story telling, it was time to put it to the test.

We bought Jakjak a potty trainer that we put on the side of our toilet. He started with making 'pee-pee' on it. Lots of it. He usually fills it halfway every morning. However, the 'poo-poo' part took a little longer to sink in to him. He still had his diapers on so it was not a big worry, but every now and then, he would shout: 'Dad! Poo-poo!'. We would then take him upstairs and sit him down on his potty. At times it took him 10 or so minutes sat down on the potty before making any poo-poo, sometimes none at all. But we always praised him every time he did 'big business', and this made him somehow want to be doing it in the potty instead of on his diaper.

It does not happen overnight though. And patience is still the key to effective potty training. Jakjak managed to get a hang of it in several months time. And during those training months, there were moments that he sort of forgets he does not have a diaper and disaster happens (and it happens when we had just changed the sheets, there must be something about 400 thread count sheets). But nevertheless, we encouraged him to train. With encouragement and patience though, you will be the proud parents of a potty trained kid in no time at all.

Half the Fun | 2007

One of the things I thought about the most was how would I make my child happy.

And that was way before we had even planned on having one. You see, when you are at that planning stage, you tend to think a lot about how you would like your child to grow up. You think about how to set yourself up as a good parent. You think about the stuff you want to buy to make your child's life better and well-off. It's a common thought, and one that most often scares would be parents.

But if I did not get over that fear, I would not know what it is like having Jakjak. Looking back now, I realize that parenting is not an exact science. Sure, there is the butterflies and the bees thing, the calendar counting to up the chances of having the gender of your choice, and all those other things that come as advise from those that have already gone through the journey of parenthood (yes, this means your mom and dad). But in all honesty, the hurdle was actually getting over the anxiety of the thought of being a parent, in my case, a father.

Half of the fun (or excitement - your choice of adjective) of becoming a parent is the mystery that comes along with it. The things that you won't know until it has actually happened. The things that make your mind work in overdrive for keeping up with the now and imminent tomorrow. And then there's the part where we act on what is given to us. Because with mystery comes expectations. And if you don't get what you expect, you tend to loom in disappointment. And this is where it becomes a bit dangerous. When we over complicate something that should not go through too much scrutiny, it takes away the mystery and overwrites it with suspense (and not in a good way).

Instead of thinking about things like 'what color would the crib be?' or 'where should I buy his first pair of rompers?', just ask the one question that really matters: 'Am I Ready?'.

Driving Ambitions | 2007

The Ferrari F50 was made to celebrate Ferrari's 50th anniversary. It was a monster of a car in it's time.

You could say it was one of Jakjak's first cars (He was one year old when he rode this). Of course, it was coin operated rather than petrol powered. It was made fiber glass instead of carbon fiber. But we all remember our firsts.

I have always been fascinated by cars. In fact, I love them. You would see me turn my head more often when I see a good looking car than a good looking girl. And because I was very open to this even when Jakjak is around, I think it has trickled down to the little fellow. 

I have always believed that toy cars are a boys first set of toys. Well, this becomes a slight fact only after the educational toys have come to pass. And even then, you can't force your child with toys that you want rather than what he wants. Because even with his toy cars (hand picked by his dad, of course), Jakjak plays with a doll house. Yep, a doll house. Probably because two of his older cousins were girls and this was one of their old toys. But yep, we let him play with his doll house. Of course, instead of dolls, he was using his hotwheels cars to sit on the couch, open the doors, peak through the windows and have tea parties. Go figure.

Still, parents will influence their child a great deal as they are growing up. This is because children only know three people in his world. His mum, his dad and himself. And at the tender age of one, his mum and his dad are his 'ultimates'. It will show in a few years time what influences you have, as a parent, given to your child. I know this because at four years old, Jakjak had carried on his dad's love for cars and has decided he wanted to be a Ferrari race car driver when he grows up! (There goes dad's bank account)

Pets | 2007

We were not exactly dog lovers in the sense that we never dressed them up like dolls.

But we love our dogs, even if they were locals (read: askal or asong kalye). Jakjak loved them too. Unfortunately, our dogs were a bit too big for him and they literally mug him with licks. That is until Muffet came along.

Muffet was a breed dog that came from my brother-in-law, Willie. He found the poor girl lost in the urban jungle and took her home. Jakjak immediately loved her because: 1.) She was smaller than he was. 2.) She was a friendly and playful little dog. Of course, she did need a lot of TLC to get her back in shape, being lost for some time. So a dozen baths, three haircuts and two lice removal sessions later, she was ready to romp.

Jakjak fed her. Jakjak walked her. Jakjak gave her more baths. Jakjak petted her. They were pretty good together, of course, Jakjak being Jakjak, it was not quite a perfect man's best friend relationship. You see, Jakjak fed her ... with his own ice cream that was melting in his hands. Jakjak walked her ... but she runs and drags Jakjak to follow her. Jakjak gave her baths ... while he was taking his own bath. Well, you get the picture.

But it was a good experience for him. In time he learned to be more responsible for his pet. That was what we really wanted him to learn. Love and respect for others. And I'd like to believe that having his own pet had taught him some of this.

Frustrating an Indie | 2007

As soon as Jakjak had learned how to walk properly, he took it as a sign of independence. For what it was worth, independence to him was just that, independently walking. 

He would shrug off our hands when we offered to guide him, and he would even run off at full speed trying to evade us. Which is fine, we thought, as kids probably wanted or even got frustrated at the things they are not able to do. So we give him the little pleasure of some independence.

At the end of the day, he still comes around and asks us to come with him. He still gets to come around and hold our hands when he feels wobbly on uneven terrain. He still comes back to ask us to open doors for him (but he insists that he should be closing them). Soon he's going to be riding his own bike (he's still using pedal cars at the moment) and driving his own car and getting married (ok, maybe that's looking too far ahead).


But the one thing that I have learned is that no matter how frustrating it becomes for a parent to watch his child fumble while he insists on being independent, being patient and reassuring (that you are just there) helps to make them understand the things that they lack. In turn, it builds up trust. And it's important to build up trust between parent and child. And this trust is not as simple as say, keeping a secret kind of trust. This is a trust that builds the bonds between parent and child. It is a thin line between being someone a child looks up to, and someone that a child will avoid from time to time. So look at balance, a balance between being over-protective and neglect. And above all else, show your love to your child. He learns from it and it will reap rewards in your relationship with him. I know ours have.

Next Stop ... Up! | 2007

So now your child can walk. Hurrah! It's a  milestone in his life, and a mark of good parenting on your part, right? For the most part, I would say yes. The question is what role did you play in getting him there? 

I have to admit, I wish I had more time to spend with Jakjak to teach him new stuff. But work and chores get in the way. Still, when you look back on it, you realize that children absorb things like a sponge. They learn from their mistakes (unlike some stubborn adults) and make the necessary adjustments to keep themselves from falling. I have also noticed that their drive to achieve something is far more persistent than an adult. It may look mundane to us the goals that children at this age (one +) want to achieve (get up and walk, reach the glass of water, make a mess, etc.), but then you have to realize that their goals at that point is learning the basics.

So now your child can walk. Now what? Well, to give you a better picture, we have a rather large and empty living room which gives Jakjak loads of room to play and roll and crawl all over. Our bedroom however, is on the 2nd floor some dozen or so steps away. So in the instant that you decide to take a break, he'll notice you're going up the stairs. And he decides to follow. The designated stair-watcher has to be alert when he does this and re-direct his attention to something else. But there came a time when diversion didn't work anymore. So it was like learning how to walk all over again.

Every time Jakjak decides to go on the stairs, you have to be there and wait on him, guide him and clap your hands every step he manages to cleverly take. Believe me, this took a while (and quite a bit of time). Imagine more than five minutes to get up a flight of steps. And that's not yet including the way down. We let him have a go at it because in the end, he will do it anyway. It's either this, or get a lift built into the house.

On some days, after he finally got the hang of it, he would go up half way, call onto us through the railings and give that wonderfully sweet smile of his. We smile back at him with a reminder to be careful, but what he does not see is dad's heart beating twice as fast as normal hoping that he would remember to hold on to the railings and get up or down safely.