Frustrating an Indie | 2007

As soon as Jakjak had learned how to walk properly, he took it as a sign of independence. For what it was worth, independence to him was just that, independently walking. 

He would shrug off our hands when we offered to guide him, and he would even run off at full speed trying to evade us. Which is fine, we thought, as kids probably wanted or even got frustrated at the things they are not able to do. So we give him the little pleasure of some independence.

At the end of the day, he still comes around and asks us to come with him. He still gets to come around and hold our hands when he feels wobbly on uneven terrain. He still comes back to ask us to open doors for him (but he insists that he should be closing them). Soon he's going to be riding his own bike (he's still using pedal cars at the moment) and driving his own car and getting married (ok, maybe that's looking too far ahead).


But the one thing that I have learned is that no matter how frustrating it becomes for a parent to watch his child fumble while he insists on being independent, being patient and reassuring (that you are just there) helps to make them understand the things that they lack. In turn, it builds up trust. And it's important to build up trust between parent and child. And this trust is not as simple as say, keeping a secret kind of trust. This is a trust that builds the bonds between parent and child. It is a thin line between being someone a child looks up to, and someone that a child will avoid from time to time. So look at balance, a balance between being over-protective and neglect. And above all else, show your love to your child. He learns from it and it will reap rewards in your relationship with him. I know ours have.