Power Struggle

Mum had received a call from Jakjak's homeroom teacher asking her to come to school. We don't normally get calls from school unless it was an emergency or it was Jakjak calling from the general office. It turns out, Jakjak seems to be giving his teacher a difficult time (imagine that).

The way the teacher described the situation, it was a hauntingly familiar scene that we experience in the house. On a daily basis. And in order to help both ourselves and Jakjak (and his teacher too), I decided that I needed some help. Help that Mr. Google was all too good to provide the links to. Yes, parenting has been around for too long, and yet, every parent and every child is different, and sometimes we need new ideas when our own wells have dried up. Luckily for the parents of my generation, we can now go online.

Jakjak's problem seems to be boredom. I don't want to say that the school or the teacher is boring. But it may not be the style that Jakjak appreciates. A lot of the things he knows, he learned by reading books and watching TV. Yes, he managed to make watching TV a productive habit. Once he learned how to read, he just couldn't stop. He reads almost anything that has letters resembling words. We are actually very proud parents of a certified bookworm. And because we have watched him grow up (and possibly made him do the things his way), we have a feeling that normal schooling may turn out to be a little boring for him. He has this way of learning that is not conservative. He is a non-conformist. Not rebellious mind you, but he sees things slightly different from others. I would even venture to say that he has a gift. A pretty odd one, but he has a gift that has not yet bloomed into full.

He does tend to be hard headed at times. A bit headstrong. We don't look at it as a sign of defiance, but rather of self respect, of expecting others to respect who he is. And while we all exercise respect for each other, there are times when he does become a little more difficult than usual. It is a time that we forget he is a kid and treat him as an adult, when he really is only just six. The website I went to called this as a power struggle. And I would tend to agree. It is a clash of ideals when both parents and their children both want to be heard. And in the end, they both do get heard, except sometimes after a tiny squabble. It's normal, but it is avoidable. This ends up in how much respect you have built and taught each other through the years. What is important is to retain that trust, that healthy relationship between the kids and the parents. A relationship where both know their limits, but are allowed to express their thoughts with mutual respect. 

I do believe that we have that bond. It may seem odd to others how we do things in the family. But right now, it is what works. We give each other room to breathe. We allow each other to express their feelings, be it good or not so good. Because we always remind each other that we are loved, we have never ended a "discussion" in a way that is not resolved at first light. (Thank goodness Jakjak knows how to turn things around)