(Dad's) First Day In School

I had to take leave from work for "Meet The Parents" day in school so that I could meet Jakjak's form teacher. But since I had time to kill, mum thought it would be cool to do some volunteer work in school as well. So I did. It's not anything major, the volunteer thing. In fact, to me, it was not much more than looking over some kids (about a hundred or so kids). Being P1 kids though, you can expect them to be a rowdy bunch. They were loud, busy and all over the place. I was on canteen duty. The kids don't really need much in terms of outright help, I guess this is because kids are actually being trained to be independent in school. I helped to open a bag of chips. That was it. But the school teachers felt otherwise. Since I was new, the teachers who saw me smiled and said "thank you for helping out". It felt good to be appreciated for the little things. In fact, I have not felt more appreciated for helping out at school than in any other place.

During that short while, I was able to see Jakjak and his friends. I was able to see him interact, to play, to eat and to be a student. From what I have seen, he seems to be doing well. He has friends that knows him, and he introduced them to me (he is very proud of his parents). He acts like a normal kid would act with his friends. And because he is normal, he neglects his snacks and preferred to play. He was running around, sometimes playing tag, sometimes playing explorer, sometimes playing cops and robbers. No wonder he looks like a rag doll when he gets home. With all that done in the morning, we get a little break and prepare to meet his form teacher in the afternoon.

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On the way back to school, we were having our normal conversation. Which means talking about trees, cars and motorbikes. Those are the things we see on the walk to school. In that conversation, there is a mix of what was it like before this and what it would be after that. This is normal kid talk, and we probably could have covered a small section of an encyclopedia.

I already knew what to expect when we had the chance to talk to Mr. Vik. That Jakjak was doing well academically. It was the little things that he had trouble with. Things like writing neatly, or keeping his pencils within his work area, or just paying more attention in class (he brings a book for silent reading - to be used only during mother tongue class). He was also noted for his rather talkative behavior during class, which was distracting to his classmates. Other than that, his teacher was pretty happy with his performance in school. He was easy to get along with and he was never really difficult to teach. He was commended for his English and his neutral attitude in school too. All in all, we were also happy about his school performance. He did better than expected in some areas, and while he still may need improvement in others, we are looking at a very bright future.

Lighting Up The Night

The Singapore Night Festival. It's a time in Singapore where, for a difference, the museums are open at night. It has been a yearly event that I remember from when we first went to one. I still remember braving the rain on the first Night Festival that we went to. Not just the rain, but we had no idea how to get there in the first place. We were lost and wet, but we were hooked. Nothing plays with your senses like light and shadows.

We hoped that there would be no rain that night, and thankfully, there was none. Singapore being Singapore though, it was still hot and humid even without the scorching sun. Still, it was a good night. The displays were playful and inviting. I mean, who can resist a bunch of eyeballs looking down at you from three stories up, right?

The Night Festival stretches through the museums from Bras Basah all the way to Dhoby Ghout. Unfortunately, we aren't that young anymore, that, and Jakjak is not as keen in walking as much as we used to. So we spent most of the night at the Singapore Art Museum (SAM). We saw giant eyeballs, a humongous aquarium (filled with goldfish) and shadows playing. The highlight for SAM would be the light projections on the building's facade. Cinematic images projected to the shape, nooks and crannies of the art deco building. It morphed from jungles to futurism and decay. I'm sure the artists had a blast creating those effects. It felt a bit lacking though, like it didn't have enough oomph to lift up the night. I guess they left that for the pyrotechnics reserved to the National Museum of Singapore (NSM).

We still managed to walk around and enjoy the busy atmosphere. Tourists and non-touriststs alike were taking up the streets like ants (adding to the heat and humidity). Still, there were street performances spread across the estate it seems, making sure that the whole event was never without a gap. It was still a very good night. A night filled with art and lights. It's amazing really, how Singapore manages these things year in and year out. All the better for the kids I say (and the kids at heart).

The Patience Of A Slug

After being called in to the office (school) with mum, obviously, there would be a discussion over the dinner table.

It's not the first time we had a discussion about school. We have seen Jakjak's works from K2 to his present state. For a child of his age, we have always believed that he has been doing well. He is not excelling in math, but everywhere else, we know that he is good. He has always been commended for his english from time to time, and his quest for information has also been noticed as well.

It was a surprise then that Jakjak's homeroom teacher asked to meet with mum. Well, maybe not that surprising, but the reason was not quite what we expected. The teacher asked for help to motivate the young one. In math. Like what we had thought, he has trouble staying in focus. We know that by heart because that's how he is at home. He has too many thoughts running through his head that he doesn't know what to do first.

In our world, motivation is not simply giving him a goal. He is way too passive to really give it much thought. He just puts his main attention someplace else. It's not motivation that he needs, it's attention. Attention that we have been giving him since he was born. Undivided attention that he needs but he can't give back in return. Fair enough, although we spoiled him like this I guess.

To give him that much attention though, requires patience. To allow him to learn while having that attention requires even more patience. But he learns. And he learns quite well like this. But to give him this much attention requires the patience of a slug. Patience that usually runs thin in a world that moves as fast as mobile phones change models. Patience that dad needs to learn and earn to progress Jakjak further.

Power Struggle

Mum had received a call from Jakjak's homeroom teacher asking her to come to school. We don't normally get calls from school unless it was an emergency or it was Jakjak calling from the general office. It turns out, Jakjak seems to be giving his teacher a difficult time (imagine that).

The way the teacher described the situation, it was a hauntingly familiar scene that we experience in the house. On a daily basis. And in order to help both ourselves and Jakjak (and his teacher too), I decided that I needed some help. Help that Mr. Google was all too good to provide the links to. Yes, parenting has been around for too long, and yet, every parent and every child is different, and sometimes we need new ideas when our own wells have dried up. Luckily for the parents of my generation, we can now go online.

Jakjak's problem seems to be boredom. I don't want to say that the school or the teacher is boring. But it may not be the style that Jakjak appreciates. A lot of the things he knows, he learned by reading books and watching TV. Yes, he managed to make watching TV a productive habit. Once he learned how to read, he just couldn't stop. He reads almost anything that has letters resembling words. We are actually very proud parents of a certified bookworm. And because we have watched him grow up (and possibly made him do the things his way), we have a feeling that normal schooling may turn out to be a little boring for him. He has this way of learning that is not conservative. He is a non-conformist. Not rebellious mind you, but he sees things slightly different from others. I would even venture to say that he has a gift. A pretty odd one, but he has a gift that has not yet bloomed into full.

He does tend to be hard headed at times. A bit headstrong. We don't look at it as a sign of defiance, but rather of self respect, of expecting others to respect who he is. And while we all exercise respect for each other, there are times when he does become a little more difficult than usual. It is a time that we forget he is a kid and treat him as an adult, when he really is only just six. The website I went to called this as a power struggle. And I would tend to agree. It is a clash of ideals when both parents and their children both want to be heard. And in the end, they both do get heard, except sometimes after a tiny squabble. It's normal, but it is avoidable. This ends up in how much respect you have built and taught each other through the years. What is important is to retain that trust, that healthy relationship between the kids and the parents. A relationship where both know their limits, but are allowed to express their thoughts with mutual respect. 

I do believe that we have that bond. It may seem odd to others how we do things in the family. But right now, it is what works. We give each other room to breathe. We allow each other to express their feelings, be it good or not so good. Because we always remind each other that we are loved, we have never ended a "discussion" in a way that is not resolved at first light. (Thank goodness Jakjak knows how to turn things around)