It's a satisfying feeling, especially for a parent, to see how your hard work has paid off.
I can only look back and reminisce at some of the things that we had to go through to bring up Jakjak. There are things that you do because you have to, and things that you do because of the choices that are presented to you. And sometimes, the results of those choices would only be realized in the near (or far) future. And most of the time, you can only hope that you are making the right decision.
Take for instance our decision to teach Jakjak English as his primary language. When we decided to do this, we were thinking "we live in our country, our native language would be easy enough to absorb". We had never considered back then that we might be living in some place other than our homeland all those years ago. Today, we find comfort that Jakjak can speak fluent English, as if he were born English (we have Maisy Mouse to thank for that). Because of this, he is quite comfortable in dealing with people of all ages who can understand him. And in Singapore, English happens to be the school's main language.
We had to be patient when we started teaching Jakjak about the basics. Letters, numbers, colors, shapes. All these things that we are so accustomed to today, were things that a child has to absorb in order to learn. And we trained him not by simply jumping the gun on him. It took studying and research on our part to assess how best to approach the teaching method we would employ (yes, it's not rocket science, but it shouldn't be taken lightly either). It was a chore to be constantly monitoring the toys and the tools that are supposed to help in the child's development. The stages of learning was different if you considered emotional, physical and intellectual growth. It was not a "one fix fit", as we found out. And while we juggled about the stages, Jakjak had been on his merry way growing up at his own jolly pace.
But all these things have been good for him. He is growing up to be an inquisitive little man. Anything and everything that attracts his curiosity warrants a question. And there were days that he bombards us with questions on the who, what, when and where along with the how. It tries your patience sometimes, it truly does (especially when the questions become repetitive), but again, we employed patience rather than frustration. So now he knows the color teal, aquamarine and periwinkle (honestly, I don't know many parents who teach that to 3 year olds). He knows about axles, driveshafts, shift knobs and mufflers (only gear-heads like me probably teach these things when a child turns 4).
Perfectionists may say that there is still room for improvement. For us, we are happy, Jakjak is happy. There is no stress, no tension between what we want and what Jakjak is. He has achieved something that we always knew he would achieve. In some areas more, in some areas less. He continues to surprise us with his wit and cleverness. In every aspect of his childhood, Jakjak has grown. And we have learned to grow with him. We are what we are because we managed to grow and improve together.
The other night, I may have made a costly mistake.
After reading a bedtime story to Jakjak about a brother who promised his younger sister an ice cream treat if she could read ten words, I challenged Jakjak to the same. I told him that if he could read one "green back" book from his Dr. Seuss books (classified as such for children just starting to read), I would buy him ice cream. This would already be easy for him, and I knew he would be able to do it (albeit rather slow on the more difficult words). But I challenged him anyway because sometimes he can be just as lazy as his dad.
He did a one-up on me by saying he can only read a "pink-back" book, for which I agreed. The only thing is, there is no "pink-back" Dr. Seuss book! He meant his book about "Matter" whose front to back cover was pink. It only had simple one-liners on each page and, I found out shortly after he finished reading, that he had practically memorized the book (this, according to mum).
He then did another one-up on me by stating the obvious, he has a cough and ice cream would be bad for him. So he asked if he could get a toy car instead, to which I agreed, since it was true that he has a cough. In the end, the toy car ended up being more than twice the price of the ice cream (not that I'm complaining, but he's been getting the upper hand on me).
After redeeming his prize, it made me realize that I needed to re-think my strategy. It's cool to do this as a sort of motivation, but like any in-store promotion, it should be of equal value. Somehow, my love for Jakjak simply overtook the objective part of the exercise. I'm not complaining. There's always a next time, for both of us.
Jakjak has been on holiday since Monday. School holiday that is. For him, it's a hyper-extended weekend of playing and lounging around the house and even more playing. That's all good for him, but it has become stressful for us.
When he had not been going to school, we had already accepted the life we would have at home. Noisy. Messy. And I meant both of those in a good way. When he started going to school regularly, mum had a short window to clean up, look after the house and sleep (although the sleeping part had never really become a problem even when Jakjak was not in school). So, with Jakjak being home for the holidays, the house, well, let's just say is a "little bit" messy.
Life is never a bore though. Even way back when, Jakjak seemed to have a little surprise lurking at the back of his head to entertain everybody. It could be a new dance move (which is either weird or uncanny), it could be a new song he had just learned (we had a week of Singapore NDP songs just before the holidays), or it could just be a witty remark here and there. Whichever surprise he may have concocted, it is magnified when he is on holiday mode. Maybe because he has all those extra hours to think them up, I don't know. But one thing I do know, is that his head is full of surprises. And coming home to him is like coming home to a party. Noisy. Messy. But always a charm.
Jakjak had never been interested in stickers. Not those kinds with characters or shiny slivery borders or chameleon like colors. He played with price tags and sticky tape, but that was about it. Until recently anyway.
In school, whenever somebody had a birthday, they would be bringing home treats like candies and little trinkets. There was one birthday where the goodie bag happened to contain a bunch of stickers. He started with one small heart which he stuck on his notebook. Since then, I see a few difderent kinds of stickers that were stuck on his other notebooks.
He then had this Cars activity book that came with stickers of eyes, mouths and car decals. The point of which was to actually design your normal toy cars to make them look like characters from the movie. He managed to do some of them pretty good. Then suddenly, our weighing scale had eyes (scared the bejeezes out of me).
So now, every once in a while, I see stickers all over the house. Cars, stars, rainbows, hearts and cartoon characters. Tinkerbell now sits proudly on Jakjak's bike. There was a price tag on the TV. a butterfly on the bookshelf. And I think there will be more nooks with even more stickers. Sigh.
It took a whole month after the movie Cars 2 premiered in the US to get here. Quite a while, and all attempts to sneak a peak had led to disappointment. And while the toys kept pouring in from all directions in all variations, all we could do was wait.
It opened on the 22nd of August, yet, I never even bothered getting advanved screening tickets for it. Somehow, if you deprive someone of something for so long, you eventually lose your excitement over it. Still, it wasn't a movie that I was just going to let pass. Jakjak and I practically grew up on the first Cars movie (all that monologue might get us somewhere soon). At least I knew that there would not be as much people and kids watching, but what surprised me was that the movie theater was not even half full. They must have gone through the same feeling that I did.
Excitedly, we went through the doors and I was surprised to see 3D glasses at the entrance. I was thinking "The ticket dude made a mistake and gave me tickets for the 3D movie! Cool!". However, what greeted us was a 3D movie of Final Destination! Jakjak froze and only then did I think to look at the movie ticket. It says "1". Mum led us to "2" because we were going to watch Cars 2. Makes sense.
We settled down to the correct theater with popcorn and soda on hand. One of the things I like doing is just watch trailers of upcoming movies, look for which ones might be good watch. That dolphin movie looks just about right.
Jakjak surely enjoyed himself watching Cars 2. He likes Francesco. I liked it, but I missed everybody. It does not feel like Cars, except maybe for Mater. Everybody elses character feels a bit off. It's still a very good movie for what it is. While all the extra cast are a welcome sight (feels good to have that challenge of identifying the car's real life counterpart), I feel like there are just too many of them that you lose out on the others. Towards the end of the movie, it became a contest to identify the places where the Lightning and Mater went to as they travelled around the world. It was a good exercise for Jakjak doing that.
All in all, it did make an impression on him. He ended up playing with his old Cars die-casts when we got home. But it did not have the same effect that the first Cars movie had on us. That one, still rocks!
Kids grow up so fast these days. And they seem to be smarter and more curious about the world than we were. During his explorations and expeditions, Jakjak managed to make mistakes and accidents happen around him spontaneously. Because of this, I had always been too quick to judge his adventurous nature as the cause of most bangs and crashes wherever we were (the other half would have been caused by his mum).
Jakjak also managed to amass a good number of toys that we had stashed in his room over 5 years. Some have come and gone to his younger cousins, some have gone to charity and some (if not most) have gone to the bin. Those binned broken toys have become less as he grew up, but there are still toys that seem to "mysteriously" disappear every now and then. Some find their way back, and some don't. But because he has too many toys to account for, sometimes we don't even know which one has gone missing, except for his "favourite" toys (which is still a lot).
One day, the tailfin of his newly acquired transport plane went missing. And since I liked that plane as well, I was quite cross. I told him that he wouldn't be able to get any new toy until he found that missing tailfin. It's been a week snce the tailfin got lost and I had already been searching along with him all throughout the house (our flat is NOT big and I have already turned it over twice!), but have not found a clue to where it has gone. "Dad, I only played with it in our room", was the standard reply from Jakjak.
I finally found the tailfin.
Stashed in one of the boxes of our Tomy town buildings.
And yes, he didn't put it there (his playmate did).
"See Dad! I told you I only played with it in our room".
He got me. The brilliant little bugger. It was like one of those revelation moments that a spiritual being had spoken a mysterious truth and you are having difficulties understanding what it actually meant. So, I apologize to the lad and admit that I had been wrong about that inicident.
I don't see anything wrong with admitting something that was true. I don't see anything wrong telling my son that dads make mistakes too. In fact, I think he should know that his dad isn't perfect, but he should also feel that his dad is still his dad. There is a thing called fear, and a thing called respect. There is a big difference, and children will not understand that difference until after a few more years into their lives. It's important that he does not mistake one for the other, and this is where parents need to be a little bit wary of when dealing with their children.
Birthday parties. It's one of those things that every child wants. Whether he is the one throwing the party or he is just going to have fun at someone else's.
For some reason though, Jakjak has always been selective at parties. He is initially shy when we attend a party where he does not really know a lot of the other kids. But he does warm up to them (much more quickly nowadays, thank God) and eventually plays with the other kids. He plays only with the nicer ones, and mostly older girls. Probably because he relates to them more, but who knows if he has other motives.
So, parties. There are hotdogs, cakes, spaghetti and then some. Jakjak, he likes pratas. So he rarely eats a lot at parties. He just wants to play as much as he can and nibbles only bits and pieces of cake. Ice cream? If it's not soft swirl and served in dixie cones, he won't have it.
He will get involved in games though (but only recently as well, he just gets up there and joins, and wins!). We taught him how to be a good sport, which was a good idea seeing how some kids become rowdy mad when they don't win. Although, I'm not quite sure if Jakjak winning a game or two helps in his 'good sport' mode. The one thing he had never wanted to do or be involved in, is face painting. No reason at all. He just does not want to. He would rather finger paint at home!. So yeah, there may be things we need to work on. I'm just concerned that he might decide to simply host the party instead of living it.
