Surprisingly, the day did not start as grumpy as we were expecting. You see, waking Jakjak up before 9AM usually meant a struggle (he is simply not used to waking up early). So, we managed to get our acts together and taxi our way to the airport. To the wrong terminal. So it was good that we had time to spare for breakfast and walking.
This is not the first time Jakjak would be flying, in fact, he's flown more times than I have in his 6 years than I have in my 36 odd ones. The only thing that was not so pleasant was the waiting. That coupled with Jakjak's occasional impatience and baby tantrums made waiting time feel longer than it actually is. However, we did survive, and it was not a reason to not enjoy our trip.
Georgetown is a heritage site. And it showcased a living, breathing piece of Malysia's history. I, personally, am a big fan of old towns. Coming from one myself, there is a certain charm that only these types of towns can manifest. For the most part of the day, Jakjak had been happily enjoying the trip (as tiring as it was proving to be), and mum was as well (planning and setup credits to mum's superb bargain hunting skills).
Kids, for the most part, are generally not interested in going out for trips. Not unless it's a trip to the toy store or grandma's house. We are happy to report that Jakjak did enjoy going on this trip. Tantrums aside, he was generally cooperative and curious when we visited the Kuan Yin temple (I think, I'm not 100% sure if it's the right temple). I guess growing up with Nat Geo and Discovery Channel in your TV viewing helped to arouse his curiosity and at the same time his interest in things other than toys and playing. We also managed to get to the Chocolate Boutique where we all enjoyed tasting chocolates (chili-chocolate anybody?) and buying some ourselves.
We went armed with nothing but tidbits of information, cabin baggage, bumblebee (for Jakjak) and minds set for adventure. It was a good day to get lost.
Jakjak's first birthday was spent at the Little Angels' Home in Tagaytay City, Philippines. It's an orphanage that we found hiding in it's little nook over the hills. We have supported the children there as best as we could when we found it. At first, only a handful of people had helped us on our mission but that soon grew to a good number through our friends and organizations. We spent our first birthday there because we wanted to give back for our wonderful gift, our very own Jakjak (who had a not so ideal birth).
Up until today, we never really celebrated Jakjak's birthday outside of our family (we celebrated once in Lola's school where he was a temp student). Today, we agreed on celebrating Jakjak's birthday in his school (his current pre-school). Somehow, all of his classmates seemed to have celebrated their birthdays in school. It's not peer pressure, nor did he ask us to give him a birthday celebration in school, we just thought about giving him one. He did good in school and he had always been such a darling at home. He deserves this treat (we found out later that you can't celebrate birthdays when he steps up to primary school - so it's good that we had one now).
This party was all mum's idea. Dad won't take any credit for it. Dad was merely there to support every step of the way. And we're all happy that it turned out quite good. Instead of a big cake that we would need to cut up for everybody, we opted instead to get a set of cupcakes made for Jakjak's birthday theme, cars. Goodie bags for his classmates were segregated for girls and boys and some fun was had with relighting candles to blow (and blow and blow). We figured everybody in class had fun, and that's what birthdays are all about.
(Unfortunately, Jakjak came up with a fever that night - sigh)
I see parents with 1-2 year olds and I can't help but think about the days when we were in the same boat ourselves. Being aware of the things happening around Jakjak. Guidig him as he masters the art of walking, running and hiding (from worry-some mum and dad). Sometimes you know you look weird doing the things you do, but you actually don't care. You have the love of your life with you, so looking like a silly Billy does not really matter.
I love it when I see what parents try to do to keep their toddlers in place, or to chase them, or to simply make them smile and laugh. I'm sure many fathers and mothers (and uncles and aunts and grandmas and grandpas) would agree that when you are at that "high" having a good time with you kids, you tend to do things that you probably thought would not normally do. Silly faces, silly poses, silly sounds and every other silly thing that you can think of. But it's all ok. Those moments you spent are rewarded by smiles and tiny little laughs. It is rewarded by some little guy having the time of his life making yours as eccentric as you could be.
It's not all about the joys of course. The guidance of parents help build a child's own independence. I've noticed that if a child knows that there is someone there looking after him, he can be as daring as he can be. And if he is, then he grows up faster, he learns quicker and he can exploit his own potential (okay, maybe not that far). But because he knows you are there, he can be free to do things that makes him, himself.
You do have to give him enough space though. There is a line between being overprotective and downright inconsiderate. And this is true for other parents as well. We have our own criteria on how we raise our kids. So we should simply reserve our judgement when we see other parents raising their children in a way that is different from ours. What matters is that they should know what they are doing. And so should we.
It's 11:52 in the evening. It's almost midnight. We have been trying to put Jakjak to bed since half-past eight. And now that we're all sleepy, we finally decide to put the lights out. Then, to our horror, we hear a fiendish scream. "Noooo!". Silence. "I want a story!". It was Jakjak asking for his bedtime story.
Yes, even if we had been in bed for hours, Jakjak would not sleep, nor even ask for his bedtime story until the last minute. So, his stories end up near midnight most of the time. Sometimes, especially if we came from a trip somewhere in the city, we would be too tired to be reading. He would be tired too, but his day wouldn't be complete without a bedtime story.
I remember being too tired and sleepy that the story I had been reading turned out to be slurred words that didn't make sense, paragraphs that had been repeated more than once and pages that have been skipped (and double backed). Fortunately, Jakjak has memorized most (if not all) of his books. He sometimes corrects us when we say the wrong words or he protests when we skip a page. When he's really, really tired though, he just doesn't mind and merely waits for "The End".
He can read now. And those green back Dr. Seuss books are already easy for him to read. For some reason, he still asks us to read him those stories. I don't know if he has just gotten used to it as a habit or if he really prefers someone reading to him. Still, we do our best to oblige (sometimes I barter a trade for the number of stories he wants read). He has grown a lot too. I believe that these stories have not just helped him with his reading, but with his emotional and psychological growth as well (yep, we blame his crazy antics and vocabulary on Dr. Seuss and 'yus, yus, yus' from Pigling Bland).
Our advise? Read as much as you can to your little one. You never know how much he will grow with it. I didn't have bedtime stories that I could actually remember, and I wanted Jakjak to have his.
It's graduation day. Well, sort of. It's Jakjak's graduation from pre-school.
Back in the day, I graduated from kindergarten with flying colors. There was a big brass band playing in the background and we were all dressed up nice and neat. It's a little bit different from when Jakjak graduated today though. For one thing, there was no big brass band playing in the background.
There was also no notable recognition of who was who. There was a big celebration and presentation done by the children, and the recognition was for the teachers who rendered several good years for the school. It was fancy, no doubt about it (it was held in a big auditorium and all). It was also just notably different 25 or so odd years ago.
Jakjak graduated with flying colors, along with his classmates. They learned their ABCs and 123s. He learned how to read, write, draw, color and all the basic things that are covered in the curriculum. But he learned something more valuable than those academic skills.
He learned friendship. He learned leadership. He learned courtesy. He learned kindness. He learned competitiveness. He learned social skills. Most of it were not new to him as he had always been learning these at home, but in school, he was learning with people his own age. He was learning it as a kid, as a student, as a schoolboy. He was learning. And he was enjoying school. He was, and he is, an ongoing learning experience with himself. A little guidance from us never hurt, but because he is learning in school, he feels a sense of independence, a sense of accomplishment. We know this by his smile whenever we congratulate hin on a job well done.
Pre-school graduation did not feel as big a deal now as it did back in my day. But it is still an accomplishment that is worth a hug and a surprise.
"So, what's bothering you?"
Nope. This isn't one of Jakjak's smart quips. This was mine (not quite smart though), after being given the silent treatment. Like I said, fatherhood is not just about being a father to a child, but being a husband to a wife as well. A balance in this world is on an indent order.
Couples fight, disagree, debate, and come to an agreement. As far as I'm concerned, this is normal. In fact, if a couple has never once got into a disagreement of some sort, I'd start wondering if they at least talk to each other.
The key thing, is the last part. Agreement. We may have our separate view of things (which is good) and we may not always agree which color is best for underwear (again, this is good), but at the end of the day, it's sleeping peacefully at night and having clear expectations that matters (along with polka-dot boxers). So, yes, we do tend to disagree on things and we do get into petty quarels. We have our differences and we compare and we debate and we learn from each other. Instead of allowing indifference to keep us apart, we try to find ways of using it to pull us together instead. It gives us each our freedom and yet unifies us at the front.
I've given up my polka-dot boxers.
I now own Cookie Monster printed ones.
On a personal level, I dislike confrontation. I can argue, I can debate, I can even invoke my rights. But I would rather not fight. Of course that's just me. But if you attack my family whether physically, morally, emotionally or whatever-ally, make no mistake, you are going to hear from me. (this also happens if you mistakenly irk me when I am very very hungry, but that doesn't happen to often)
I guess we, as parents, lead by example. While I prefer not to have a confrontation, I would not stand idly by and be trampled over. The same goes for Jakjak. When somebody tries to pull a one-up on him, I gauge the situation with him. I explain to him why he should (or should not) give up his rights depending on who is on the other end. He knows that he shouldn't take advantage of kids younger than him and girls as well. He knows that he does not have to get physically assertive when he can talk sense to people (surprisingly, this method works best). There are times that I would really have wanted to intervene (and there have been times that I have), but I initially watch Jakjak's reaction to the situation and the other kids' reply to him.
So far, he had handled difficult situations (difficult for kids anyway) all on his own. He does not start fights, and if somebody harasses him (we're talking kids here), he tells him off. If that does not work, he goes to the kid's mum if she's around or he goes to me. He can get rough while playing, and I understand that, but from my perspective, that has not really led into any big misunderstandings. In fact, when other kids tell him off for being rough, they come to me as well and let me know about it. In turn, I tell Jakjak about it in front of the other kids and he apologizes (most of the time). There was even a time that he told other kids off because a smaller one was being bullied (he told them it was wrong).
And I have to keep reminding myself that he's only five.
